


Please Remember Me

by InkstainedGwyn



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Happy Ending, I hope, I really feel bad for putting them through this, M/M, and then wonderful, but they'll be happy in the end I promise, it's going to be terrible, so it's time for my amnesia fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-27 11:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8399383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkstainedGwyn/pseuds/InkstainedGwyn
Summary: The IT defeats Izanami, but when they leave the TV world, Souji collapses. When he comes to, he doesn't remember anything about the previous year - not even his boyfriend, Yosuke. Now he has to get to know everyone again, but will he feel the same way about the brunette this time around? What happened to his memories? Can he get them back?Now completed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for V-Gurl (somehow I can't find you to tag you in it, but I know you know it's for you, since we've been talking about it!) She requested a longer amnesia fic that doesn't just solve things in a few weeks, and I hope this one does the trick. I don't have any idea how many chapters it will be (since I'm having issues writing right now) but I do have the whole thing storyboarded out, I just need to write it. I may have the second chapter finished tonight, I'm not sure - we'll see. 
> 
> That being said, I am dealing with some depression right now and my ability to judge my own writing is skewed, so I really would appreciate any thoughts or questions people have as they read this. I am aware it's a short-ish chapter, but I also had a specific place I wanted to stop, so this may not indicate the length of the coming chapters; I just don't know. I will definitely be finishing this, but I may pop a few chapters of TaFH in while I'm working on it, we'll see. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://ohlookashinysquirrel.tumblr.com) if you want to poke at me.

“Children of man, _well done_.”

The putrid goddess’s words, spoken even as she began to crumble to dust, sounded as if they should be praise - but were said in a tone that was anything _but_. There was something smug, something self-congratulatory in Izanami’s voice, and the Investigation Team stood in a half-circle, behind Souji, looking at one another warily.

Izanami wasn’t finished. Throwing her head back, she laughed, long and low. “Indeed, you have found the truth you fought for, shown me the power of your _bonds_ ; now it just remains to see how they’ll serve you hereafter. Farewell, seekers of truth; farewell, _Izanagi-no-Okami_.”

The last words echoed around them, her physical form already faded and scattered; Yosuke found himself shivering uncontrollably at the wind that howled through the faded ruins in which they stood. He glanced over at Souji; his boyfriend looked peaked and weary. They all did.

“Whaddya think she meant by _that?_ ” Chie frowned, leaning on Yukiko’s arm. Behind her, Naoto sighed.

“There’s no telling, but I think it’s safe to say that the _true_ architect of the Midnight Channel has now been dealt with - and we all need to go home and rest.”

“Naoto’s right.” Souji’s voice was hoarse, and he sounded exhausted. Let’s get going.”

The group all gave each other weary nods - somehow, Izanami’s final words had taken the triumph out of their victory, and a nervous cloud hung over them as they headed for the TV world exit; even as the fog burned off around them, they felt no desire to stop and look around. 

As always, they left through the TV, one-by-one; Souji was the last one through, stopping to take a final look around the TV. Something was bothering him, something in the back of his mind, and he couldn’t tell what it was; _I’m just tired_ , he thought to himself, shrugging before he stepped through the TV. 

The minute his feet touched the ground outside, everything went black. 

* * *

Yosuke had just finished dusting himself off when Souji stepped through the TV; the brunette was just about to reach out a hand to his boyfriend, to say something about heading home together, when a look of surprise crossed Souji’s face. Before Yosuke could ask what was wrong, the silver-haired boy crumpled into a heap, unconscious; for a split-second, everyone froze, and then the brunette dived for his boyfriend as everyone else started to panic.

“Souji! Souji, what’s wrong?” Cold fear gripped Yosuke’s heart as he put his hands on Souji’s face, but his boyfriend didn’t stir; he was still breathing, but he was completely unconscious, and when Yosuke grabbed his hand it felt clammy and limp. He didn’t seem to have a fever, but the colour of his skin was pale - even paler than usual - and Yosuke couldn’t help gathering him close, holding him tightly as he pressed his forehead against Souji’s. “Partner! Answer me!” He knew he was sobbing, that his voice was choked, but it was all he could do to keep from unravelling into a full-blown panic attack.

Around them, everything was a blur. He was vaguely aware of the rest of the group freaking out - Naoto was trying to keep everyone calm as she spoke into her cell phone, he assumed she’d called 119, for an ambulance and paramedics. All the while, Souji never stirred; he just lay quietly in Yosuke’s arms, and Yosuke felt sick. Izanami’s final words kept playing through his mind; they meant nothing to him, but he knew they meant _something_ \- he just didn’t know what. He couldn’t know what. It was always Souji’s job, and Naoto’s, to figure those sorts of things out. Yosuke brushed his lips softly across Souji’s; he could feel his boyfriend’s faint breath, letting the brunette know that he was still alive, at least, but he couldn’t help feeling terrified that somehow - _somehow_ \- Izanami had won, anyhow. Tears streamed down his cheeks as the worst possible scenarios played through his mind.

_I can’t live without Souji, she can’t take him from me, I can’t lose him…_

* * *

“And you kids were just hanging out? You _swear_ there wasn’t anything weird going on?”

Dojima paced back and forth in the waiting room; Yosuke sat in front of him, head bowed, and the rest of the group sat or leaned against every surface available, around the small alcove. 

“We were in Junes, Dojima-san.” Naoto’s voice was quiet, and Yosuke was grateful that she’d stepped in; he had barely been able to get a single coherent thought out, he was so terrified about what was going on in Souji’s hospital room. Luckily, the detective knew that his nephew and Yosuke had been dating; he seemed to understand why Yosuke was so panicked, and was trying to go easy on him. Naoto leaned in. “The department store is hardly a hotbed of danger.”

“And the doctors ran tests, there’s no drugs in his system or anything else. I just don’t understand.” Souji’s uncle looked just as frazzled as the rest of them; he’d grown fond of his nephew over the year he’d been in Inaba, and everyone knew he was almost as upset as Yosuke. “To top it all off, I can’t reach his parents. _Dammit!_ First Nanako, now Souji… what the hell is going on with this place?”

* * *

They had to go home, eventually. There was no news from Souji’s room, other than that he was still alive, but not awake, and that every test was coming back negative for any problems or illnesses. Yosuke begged to be allowed to stay, but finally, Dojima took his arm. 

“Hanamura. You’ve got to go home. You’re half a step away from passing out yourself; Souji would never forgive me if I let you panic yourself into a coma for his sake. Go home, shower, eat something, _rest_ \- even if you can’t sleep - and I’ll call you the minute I hear _anything_. I promise.”

The others had finally all gone home - all giving him a hug or a pat on the arm - and Yosuke’s shoulders slumped as he acknowledged the detective’s orders. 

“All right, Dojima-san. Just… please. I don’t care what time it is, please just call me…”

“I will, Hanamura. I promise. And barring any news, I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Swallowing, the brunette nodded. “I- okay. Thank you.” Souji’s uncle just nodded, and Yosuke dragged himself out of the hospital, heading home.

* * *

There was no way Yosuke could sleep that night. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling; all he could think about was his boyfriend - Souji’s smile, Souji’s eyes, the crinkle they made when he smiled at Yosuke, his slender fingers twined through the brunette’s as they held hands, the feel of Souji’s lips against his, against his throat, against his skin. The sound of Souji’s voice - quietly talking after school, whispered words of love, hoarse cries of passion, laughter during late-night study sessions, even anger, as they talked about the murders. He thought about Souji’s shy face when he’d confessed to the brunette at last year’s summer festival, their first kiss under the fireworks, holding hands under the harvest moon. The smile on his boyfriend’s face when they finally admitted to the group that they were dating, with Rise’s catcalls and Yukiko’s giggled questions. 

He was tracing Souji’s face in his mind when the horizon began to lighten, through his window; looking at his phone, he was both glad and anxious that he hadn’t gotten any messages - he wanted Souji to wake up, but he was terrified of a late night call telling him to come right away. It was too reminiscent of Nanako, of last November. 

Finally, the clock struck seven, and Yosuke decided that it was an acceptable time to be awake; he felt like dried cardboard, but he figured that laying down must have at least done _something_ for his energy. Dragging himself out of bed, he grabbed another shower - the water helped wake him up a little - and forced himself to eat a bowl of cereal, trying not to think about Souji standing at his stove, cooking tamagoyaki and miso like he did every time they spent the night, either at the Hanamuras’, or at the Dojimas’.  

Teddie came down a little later; the boy looked tired and anxious, but Yosuke could tell he’d at least _slept_ , for which the brunette was glad. Ted opened his mouth to say something - Yosuke assumed it was about Souji - but after one look at Yosuke’s face, he quieted; this made the brunette feel both grateful and alarmed, since Teddie was usually _never_ so thoughtful.

Still, the past week had done a number on all of them, and maybe it wasn’t surprising that the bear was starting to mature a little.

* * *

Yosuke and Teddie were waiting at the hospital as soon as visiting hours started; Dojima was along shortly, followed by the rest of the group, and they reassembled in the same waiting area as the day before, as Souji still wasn’t awake, and still wasn’t receiving visitors.

It was starting to wear on Yosuke. Not even being allowed into see Souji made him wonder if something _had_ happened, and they just weren’t telling them; he knew it wasn’t the case, but he couldn’t stop worrying, and he was already picking at his nails to the point that they were almost raw. 

After what felt like hours, but was only an hour and a half by the clock on the wall, they were all brought out of their various anxious or worried dazes by a nurse, walking purposefully into the group.

“Ryotaro Dojima?”

Dojima jumped to his feet, pushing through the group to hurry over to the nurse. She pulled him aside, even as Yosuke’s heart plummeted; there was a strange look on the detective’s face, and he seemed to be arguing with the nurse. Finally, he sighed, turning to the group.

“Souji’s… awake.” There were gasps of relief all around, but Yosuke - who felt relief, but also a growing panic - had no chance to say anything before he continued. “I’m going to go in and see him, but you all need to stay here for now.”

“Dojima-san-” Yosuke clenched his fists, standing up. “Please. I need to see him, too.”

“I-” Dojima paused, looking at the nurse, then back at Yosuke. Giving a heavy sigh, he finally nodded. “Okay, Yosuke. You can come, too.”

The brunette hurried over to the detective’s side; the nurse nodded at both of them, and she led them to the room. 

* * *

Souji was sitting up in bed; his head swiveled towards the door when Dojima and Yosuke walked in, and Yosuke almost collapsed, he felt so much relief at seeing his boyfriend awake and seemingly unharmed. 

“Souji! Souji, oh god, you’re ok, thank god-”

However, as the brunette said that, Dojima put a hand on his shoulder; Yosuke frowned, realising that his boyfriend hadn’t smiled at him, hadn’t really shown any sort of excitement or happiness at seeing either of them - or even recognition. The relief in his stomach had just started to sour when Souji - his eyebrows furrowed with a worried look on his face - gripped his blanket.

“Who- who are you? Where am I? What’s going on?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Please Remember Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much misery, I'm sorry guys!

At Souji’s words, Yosuke heard Izanami’s voice echo through his head - smug and satisfied, though he could not remember her words - and he froze, a horrified look on his face. Souji frowned, looking upset; Dojima squeezed Yosuke’s shoulder so hard that it almost hurt - although the brunette could tell that it was because he was feeling just as unsettled and worried - and his voice came, low and tired.

“Souji, I’m your uncle, Ryotaro Dojima. This is your friend, Yosuke Hanamura. I know you don’t know what’s going on right now, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to you for a bit about that. You remember that you were supposed to be coming stay with me, right?”

The silver-haired boy - who’d been watching them with an anxious face - nodded; his eyes flickered from Dojima to Yosuke and back again, and it was all Yosuke could do to hold himself back and not throw himself at his boyfriend. 

“I- yes. I was…” He paused, wincing a little. “I remember the train ride, but… nothing else. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Souji. Don’t feel bad.” Dojima turned his head; his expression was sympathetic and sorrowful as he looked at the brunette. “Yosuke. Will you go wait outside with the others? Let them know what’s going on. The doctor will be by to talk to you all shortly; I’m going to talk to Souji a little, tell him what I can.”

The brunette, by this point, was on autopilot; his world was crumbling around him and he didn’t even know what to think, much less how to feel - beyond lost and alone - so he nodded. “I. Yes- yessir.” His eyes flickered to the bed, and he gave a small smile at the boy sitting there, knowing that Souji had to be feeling lost and alone, too. “I’ll see you around, Souji.” 

Stepping out into the hallway, he held himself steady by sheer willpower, until the door closed behind him; once it had, however, he took one staggering step into the alcove before grabbing for the wall. The others rushed over, surrounding him; Kanji managed to get a hand under his elbow to help him stay upright, and they all helped him over to a chair.

“Yosuke-senpai, what’s _wrong?_ ” Rise was almost wailing at this point, and the others were also clamouring for an explanation. Yosuke almost couldn’t say it - he had to bury his face in his hands and breathe in deeply to keep himself from bursting into tears - but finally he raised his head.

“He doesn’t remember me, or Dojima-san. He says the last thing he remembers is the train ride from Tokyo to Inaba, when he first came here.”

There were horrified gasps from the group, and Naoto frowned. “He’s lost the entire year? How can that be? Nothing _happened_ , I mean…”

“Nothing happened except _her_ ,” Yosuke said, his voice low and shaking. “We have no idea what that fight did to him. And you heard her words. This could be some delayed effect… oh _Souji…_ ”

His shoulders were shaking by now and Rise hugged one of his arms, and Teddie hugged the other; he was saved from breaking down into tears by the nurse, who walked over with a clipboard.

“You are all Mr. Seta’s friends?”

They nodded, and she shook her head. “I’m very sorry to tell you that Mr. Seta seems to be suffering from amnesia. We don’t know what caused it, but we do know that he seems to have forgotten everything from the last year. Now, these things sometimes happen, and in most cases, the amnesia sufferers finally end up regaining their memories - but whether or not that will happen, or when, we can’t say. I understand that you all care very much for Mr. Seta, but please understand that right now you are all strangers to him, and pushing him to try to regain his memories will only upset and worry him. It may even make the amnesia worse, depending on why it’s happened. Please be mindful of this when you engage him, and let him choose whether or not you all come visit him in the future.”

There were vague murmurs through the group, but Yosuke was only able to think about the fact that _Souji had forgotten him_. He _knew_ it wasn’t only him - Souji had forgotten the entire group, after all - and logically, he knew it wasn’t _because_ of him; that didn’t change the fact, however, that he felt like his world was ending. Souji was the most important person in his life, the person who had helped him through his darkest moments, and being _with_ Souji - boyfriends, lovers, best friends - was the thing that made him happiest in all the world. And now…

_Now he doesn’t even know who I am. You can’t love someone you don’t know. And he’s leaving in.. a week?_

They’d planned to spend the last week together, making the most of the time they still had together, and then they were going to get together for Golden Week, and Souji was going to come back for the summer, and they’d made plans even as far as what universities to go to…

...but now, why would Souji want to come back to a town he didn’t remember to see people he didn’t know? There would be no chance for last sleepovers, last days together… no last kisses, last embraces, last whispered words of love. 

It was the worst breakup Yosuke had ever had, and it hadn’t even been a breakup. It had just… _ended_. 

He’d wrapped his arms around himself, about to run away - run _anywhere_ , just away, any place he could be _alone_ \- when Souji’s door opened; everyone’s head turned towards the sound, and Dojima walked out, looking tired.

“Hey, kids. You know what’s going on?”

They all nodded, looking miserable, and Dojima rubbed his face. “I’m sorry. I really wish I knew what happened. Souji is a bit calmer now, he knows the facts - that he’s been living here for a year, that you all are his friends, and that he’s lost his memories. It’s worrying him, of course, because Souji’s that kind of boy, but the doctor has already told him that he has a chance to regain them, so to not stress out about it.”

Everyone looked at each other, sadness etched across their faces; Rise had just hugged Yosuke’s arm again when Dojima looked at him. “Hanamura.”

“Yessir?” His attention snapped back to the detective, wondering what _else_ was going to happen today. However, Dojima’s words surprised him a little.

“If you don’t mind, Souji asked to talk to you.” He shook his head, however, before the brunette could get his hopes up. “I don’t think he remembers you, and I didn’t tell him anything beyond the fact that you two were friends. The rest of it is up to you.”

Swallowing, Yosuke nodded, detaching himself from the redhead’s hug. “All- all right, sir. Thank you.” 

Pausing for a second to gather his courage, he opened Souji’s door; when he walked inside, the silver-haired boy looked back up. There was still a nervous, worried look on his face, but he managed to give the brunette a tiny smile.

“Hi, um... your name is Yosuke, right?”

The words almost killed Yosuke. They destroyed any hope he’d had - no matter how small - that just maybe it was a mistake; he hid his reaction, however, determined to do everything he could to help Souji. Instead of crying - although he had to blink hard for a moment - he managed a watery smile.

“Yeah. Hey. I’m Yosuke Hanamura. It’s, uh… wierd to say, I guess, but hi.” He hesitated, then held out a hand; Souji looked surprised, but then his smile steadied just a little as he reached out and shook it.

“So, um… uncle says we were friends, and um… we seemed to be close? I know you were really worried about me when you came in earlier. I’m just… really sorry I don’t remember you, and-”

He started to bow, and Yosuke, panicking, dropped into the seat next to Souji’s bed. “Dude, no! Don’t even think about feeling bad, okay? If you don’t remember, it’s not your fault.” The silver-haired boy gave a small smile at this, straightening up, and Yosuke nodded to him. “And… yeah. We were-” 

He paused here. There was an open, trusting look in his boyfriend - _former_ boyfriend’s - eyes, Yosuke knew that he probably could tell him more, and Souji would accept it. But he couldn’t. _I know Souji; he would kill himself trying to remember, or to force himself to love me, and that’s the least fair thing I could ever do to him._ Burying the pain, he smiled. “-we were best friends, but it’s okay if you don’t remember that. I’d still be glad to help you out as much as you want me to, though, as long as it doesn’t upset you.”

Souji opened his eyes in surprise at this; he looked grateful, and it was all Yosuke could do to keep from reaching out to touch the invalid’s cheek. Unaware of the mental turmoil the brunette was going through, the silver-haired boy smiled. “I… that would be really great, Yosuke. Thank you.” He paused, and suddenly he had a shy look on his face, and Yosuke had to lean back heavily in his seat. “I think I can see why we were such good friends. I’m really sorry, I know this has to be hard on you…”

Hearing how small the other boy’s voice was, Yosuke couldn’t help leaning over to pat Souji’s hand. “No, Souji, don’t worry about it. You’re- you’re really important to all of us, all of your friends, and myself, I mean, well anyway. We’re all here for you, and I’ll come back if you want to, and we’ll do what we can to help you out while you’re still here in Inaba.”

Smiling, Souji opened his mouth, but at that moment the nurse bustled in. “Mr. Hanamura, you’re going to need to leave now, I’m afraid. Mr. Seta needs rest and we need to run some more tests.”

With a pained sigh, Yosuke stood. Even though he couldn’t touch or hold Souji, he didn’t want to be away from him; still, he knew he couldn’t fight the nurses, and he still had hopes that they might figure out what was going on. Nodding, he turned to Souji; before he could say anything, however, the silver-haired boy spoke up, looking anxious.

“I- will you come back, Yosuke? Maybe tomorrow? I don’t know if you have a job, or… other things to do, but will you-”

The tiniest thread of relief breathed through Yosuke’s heart at this, and he nodded with a smile. “Of course, dude. It’s break, I’ve got all the time in the world, and you’re still my… best bro.” He couldn’t bring himself to say _partner_ , not without crying. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning, if you want me to.”

“Yes, please, I would really like that. Um. Thank you, Yosuke… have a good day?”

“Thanks, Souji. You too.”

* * *

The brunette stepped back out into the hall to find that the others were still waiting for him, minus Dojima. Everyone crowded around him, and he finally allowed himself to breathe. 

“ _Dammit!_ ” He let out a little of his frustration in that one exclamation, and he saw his friends wince in sympathy.

“How is he, Yosuke-senpai?” Naoto sounded hesitant, and the brunette took a slow, deep breath.

“He’s… Souji, you know? He’s worried and he feels bad about not remembering us, and he really wanted to apologise, and…”

“S-s-senpaiii~” Rise sniffled at this. “You’re so kind!” 

Rubbing his forehead, Yosuke looked around the group. “I’d love it if the doctors could figure out what’s going on but I think we all know they won’t. It’s up to us to help Souji, if we can do it before he-” The brunette had to pause before his voice broke. “-before he leaves. But we can’t tell him about the shadow world, it would only worry him more. And…” 

He paused again; this was the hardest part, and his heart broke again for the thousandth time that day as he said it.

“...and don’t tell him we were dating. He thinks we were just friends; I don’t want him feeling stressed out, or trying to force himself to feel something for me when he doesn’t even _know_ me.”

Most of the group winced at this; Chie just said, quietly, “ _Oh, Yosuke…_ ”, and Naoto nodded. Rise, standing opposite the brunette, burst into tears.

“Yosuke-senpai, doesn’t it _hurt?_ ”

The pain and sympathy in the redhead’s voice was finally enough to crack the hurried barrier Yosuke had put around his broken emotions, and the brunette put a hand up to his face, choking back a sob. “Of _course_ it hurts! I want to die, I miss him so much! But… think about everything Souji’s done for us, everything he’s going through - I can’t be selfish, can I? I love him, and it’s my job to do everything I can to try to help him. Pressuring him to try to fake a relationship wouldn’t make me happy.”

Rise hugged him at this, and after a moment, Chie joined her; Teddie was next, and eventually the entire team piled on. Yosuke smiled a little at this - a _very_ little; _it’s not Souji, but I_ have _friends, we still have the friendship that Souji helped us build. We’ll help him get it back, too_.

They’d just pulled away when Dojima came back, looking harried - but also a little relieved. “I finally talked to Souji’s folks.”

Yosuke’s stomach plummeted again at this, but before he could ask when Souji was leaving, Dojima nodded. “I couldn’t get ahold of them because they were in the middle of a long flight; apparently my brother-in-law has been sent directly to a new assignment without being given time to fly back, so they’re not going to be able to return at the end of the month after all.”

A faint hope stirred Yosuke’s heart at this. “So… Souji isn’t leaving?”

Dojima shook his head. “Souji isn’t leaving. I don’t know what this will do for you kids, or even if it’s _good_ for him, but… well, make of it what you will, and be careful with him. I take it you didn’t tell him you two were dating?”

The brunette shook his head. “No, of course not. He doesn’t need to stress about that right now.”

The detective nodded. “Good call, and thank you. All right, kids. You need to head home and I need to get to work.”

Everybody nodded at this, making vague plans to talk more over text; Yosuke stayed behind, however, as did Dojima. When the group had left - Teddie leaving with Kanji, who had promised him some ‘heartbreak topsicles’ - the brunette shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Dojima-san? Is it okay if I go by the house and see Nanako? I know she’s gotta be having a hard time right now.”

The detective looked surprised at this, and then nodded. “Yeah, of course you can, Hanamura. Thanks. I’m really sorry, you know.”

“Well, it is what it is.” Yosuke tried to believe that more than he actually _did_ as he shrugged. “While I’m there… would it be okay if I grabbed some things from Souji’s room? Like… photos, and…” He swallowed. “A few CDs, and… a shirt I gave him, and…” 

His voice started to choke, and the detective saved him by putting a hand on his shoulder. “Yeah. I understand. Don’t want Souji running across something like that and having it upset him. Okay. I’ll be home early tonight to sit with Nanako and explain stuff to her - she already knows a little bit about what’s going on - but yeah. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mind spending the afternoon with her.” A pause. “How’d the talk with Souji go?”

“He wants me to come back tomorrow.” It was the only bright - even _semi-_ bright - spot the brunette had, and he was going to cling to it.

“Good.” The detective looked a little relieved. “All right, Hanamura. I gotta tell Souji he’s staying and then run to the station, but I’ll see you this afternoon if you’re still around. Thanks.”

* * *

Souji watched his uncle - he _vaguely_ remembered the man from his parents’ photo albums - leave the room; he felt a little anxious over the fact that he was going to be staying in Inaba for a year ( _another_ year, he had to remind himself), but then there was also the fact that for all intents and purposes he’d been prepared to come out for a year just recently anyway, so… he figured it shouldn’t be too difficult.

 _Except that I already have a ready-made family and friend group. That’s… terrifying. I wish I knew what happened!_ He rubbed his forehead, thinking about the boy that had come to see him. _Yosuke Hanamura. He seems really cheerful and really nice. I can see why we were friends, but I feel so guilty for forgetting him - I mean, best friends don’t just_ forget _each other, do they? But he just told me it was okay, and that he would help me…_

The silver-haired boy sighed, fidgeting; he had a sterling silver ring on his right middle finger, and he found himself spinning it whenever he was lost in thought, or feeling frustrated or alarmed. He didn’t know where it came from - but it was also the least of his worries right now. _I hope I’m not sick, I wish I knew what would cause something like this - uncle said my friends said we were just hanging out and I collapsed. They must have been so worried._

But at least Yosuke was there. His uncle was a good man, he could tell, but he also seemed busy - and more than a little imposing. The brunette, however, seemed good-natured, and there was something about him that Souji felt like he could _trust_ \- although he still felt wary, since he had no way of knowing what sorts of things they would normally talk about, or what would or wouldn’t upset Yosuke.

 _I guess it’s just like making a new friend, only… he already knows me._  

Souji sighed as the nurse came in with a wheelchair to take him to his next examination. 

_I’ll just have to make sure not to let him down._

* * *

When Nanako opened the door, Yosuke could tell she’d been crying; she immediately threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Yosuke-nii!”

He hugged the little girl back, feeling a little comfort in the gesture; they stayed that way for a little while before she finally stepped back, inviting him in.

It hurt to be there, and not be with Souji. It hurt to look around and remember all the times the two of them - or three of them, when Nanako was around - spent time just being together. But right now he knew that he _had_ to step up, to do what he could; if he didn’t, it could end up hurting Souji, and that was the last thing in the world that he wanted. He sat with Nanako for a little bit, talking about everything except for Souji; finally, however, he sighed.

“Hey, Nanako. I gotta-” A deep breath. “I gotta go through Souji’s stuff. I... there’s some things I need to take home so that they don’t worry him right now.”

Nanako looked up at him, frowning. “I don’t want big bro to worry… I’ll help.”

This smote Yosuke’s heart, but he shook his head. “It’s okay, Nanako. I really shouldn’t be going through your bro’s things but this has to be done… I think I’ll feel better if I’m the only one who does it. You can keep me company, though.”

“Okay. I mean, you helped him pack, anyway, I don’t think he’ll mind!” She paused. “Is it true that he’s staying?” 

She looked hopeful at this, and Yosuke nodded. “Yeah, that’s what your dad said.”

“Yay!” 

_I wish I could feel as happy about it. I mean, I_ am _, but… if we don’t fix things…_

He left the thought unfinished as they headed upstairs. Nanako settled down on the couch while Yosuke looked - with some dismay - at the two boxes sitting by Souji’s futon; it was going to at least make things easier, as he knew that Souji had packed everything except for a few changes of clothes, but ‘easier’ was by no means _easy_. Taking a deep breath, he opened the first box.

* * *

In the end, there weren’t too many things he had to take; it was kind of sad, in a way, and he regretted not having done more for Souji, given him more memories, although he knew that what he had was actually quite reasonable. There were a handful of photos - some of the group, some of just the two of them, arms around each other, heads together, and happy smiles on their faces - a few mix CDs Yosuke had given his boyfriend, at Christmas and at White Day, a couple of greeting cards, a few other odds-and-ends, and a t-shirt that Souji had asked for, specifically, to take back to Tokyo.

Holding the small pile of items, wrapped in the shirt, Yosuke looked down at the the things in his hands with an ache in his heart. Before he could stop it, he felt tears drip down, splattering on the top of one of the CD cases; putting the bundle aside, he brought his arm up to cover his face, trying to stop the tears, but it didn’t work. Shoulders shaking, he put his hands up to his face as he started to cry.

Behind him, he heard a noise, and then small arms were wrapping around his shoulders as Nanako hugged him fiercely. “I miss big bro too, Yosuke-nii. Why did he forget us?”

“Oh, Nanako…” Sobbing, Yosuke pulled the little girl in for another hug; she was crying, too, and they just knelt that way for a time. Finally, he pulled back, wiping his eyes; he reached over and grabbed a tissue out of the box on Souji’s desk and handed it to Nanako, who blew her nose.

“I know it’s hard, but I know how much Souji loved you, and I _promise_ he’ll be right back to loving you as soon as he gets to know you again, okay? And I promise that we’ll do everything we can to help him get his memories back.”

“Good.” She sniffled. “Because I know big bro was so happy here and I want him to remember that!”

“So do I.” Yosuke’s voice was soft as he hugged Nanako again, then wiped his own eyes. “So do I.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 of Please Remember Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support, guys. I really appreciate it.
> 
> As always, feel free to reach out if you have any questions or you feel like something doesn't seem right, or make sense.

Yosuke toyed with the idea of unpacking for Souji, but he decided against it; if the boy didn’t remember anything, then he probably would feel weird seeing his personal items spread out through an unfamiliar room, and he might not even be able to find everything. Otherwise, Souji’s room was spotless; Yosuke took one more sad look around the room before gathering up the items - he’d put them into a small, spare box - to take home.

Stepping out of the room, he almost ran into Dojima; the detective looked harried, but when he saw the brunette, his face softened. “Hey, Hanamura. You doing okay?”

Yosuke rubbed his face, knowing that he probably hadn’t gotten all of the tear stains off his cheeks - and he didn’t really care. He shrugged. “Not really, but what can you do?”

Dojima took a deep breath at this, and put a hand on Yosuke’s shoulder. “You’re a good kid, Yosuke. I know you’ve always been there for Souji. It’s selfish of me to say, but I hope you’re willing to stay his friend, even though I know it’s going to hurt.”

The brunette raised an eyebrow at this. “Are you kidding? I _love_ Souji and I’m going to do whatever I can to bring him back, and-” He bit his lip. “And if he doesn’t come back I’ll help him find a new way back.” Clenching his fists, he blinked hard, forcing the tears back. “I don’t know what I did to deserve him in the first place but I’ll do whatever it is again - I love him and that will _never_ change.”

A soft, sad look crossed Souji’s uncle’s face, and he paused a moment before reaching out to pull the brunette into a rough hug. It was short, but Yosuke could tell just how _much_ Dojima cared about his nephew; romantic love wasn’t the only kind of love that mattered, and he knew the whole thing had to be hurting Dojima as much as it was hurting the brunette right now. 

When the brunette stepped back, he cleared his throat and pretended not to see the faint glint of tears in Dojima’s eye; looking down at his box, he remembered something he’d meant to bring up. Taking a deep breath, he shifted his load from one arm to the other. 

“I couldn’t get everything. Souji still has a photo of us in his wallet, I think.” He flushed a little. “I know, because I have the same photo, we got duplicates. And he’s still wearing-” The brunette swallowed. “-still wearing the ring I gave him last fall. I don’t know how to get that back.”

Dojima thought for a second. “I can get the wallet photo. As for the ring, if he’s wearing it I think that asking for it would just make things weirder, and he might ask why. I hate to ask you to cover up something that I know means so much to you, but if he asks about it you can just tell him he picked it up while he was here?”

“Yeah.” Yosuke exhaled, trying to stop the pain he felt at that thought. “Alright, thanks.”

Nodding, Dojima patted his shoulder again. “I’m going to buy him a new phone - I don’t think he wants to deal with whatever is in the one he has now, but I also don’t think it’s fair to just delete it, I’m sure there’s pictures and things on there he’ll want when he gets his memories back.”

 _Memories of us._ Yosuke sighed. “All- alright. Thank you, Dojima-san.”

“Of course. Do you want to stay for dinner?”

Part of him did, because he didn’t want to be alone, but the idea of sitting in Souji’s house having dinner with just the Dojimas _hurt_ , so he shook his head. “I should get back, I haven’t been able to tell mom and dad what’s going on. I also need to find some place to put this.” He held up the box, and the detective nodded. 

“All right, Hanamura. Be safe, okay? I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow. And hang in there. If you need anything, tell me.”

* * *

He slept that night, if only because he was completely and utterly exhausted. It didn’t stop him from dreaming, of course; his dreams were a mass of nightmares, crawling with shadows and boney hands and mocking, ghostly voices followed by Souji’s voice, crying out in pain. When he finally woke up, he really didn’t feel _rested_ , but he knew that he was at least not going to pass out at some random point during the day. 

Grabbing a shower - and, despite his best efforts to pretend it didn’t matter, spending a good half-hour trying to pick out a good outfit - Yosuke forced himself to eat an orange before heading out to the hospital. He was a little afraid of being too early - or that arriving exactly when opening hours began would seem weird - but an extra half-hour was all he could force himself to give; when he pushed open Souji’s hospital door, he was relieved to see the silver-haired boy smile at him. 

Dojima was there, just standing up from the chair beside the bed, and he nodded. “Hello, Hanamura. I’m heading off to work now, but you know how to contact me if anything happens, or if you or Souji need me.”

“Yessir.” Yosuke nodded. “Have a good day, sir.” When the detective nodded, leaving the room, Yosuke turned to Souji.

“Morning. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. Thanks. How are you, Yosuke?”

“Eh, same as ever, I guess. Doing okay. Glad you’re okay.”

“I am, but…” Souji sighed. “I’ve been thinking, I thought maybe I could remember something, but-”

The brunette couldn’t help feeling a twinge at this - he _knew_ it wasn’t just going to be some easy ‘fix’ for Souji to get his memories back, but that didn’t stop him from _wanting_ it to be - but he just shook his head, taking a seat next to the bed.

“Partn-” He stopped himself, almost panicking, and coughed. “Uh, sorry about that. Part of getting better is just relaxing, you know,” he said, desperately trying to cover up his almost-blunder. “I mean, the doctors said that if you try to force yourself to remember, it might get worse, and it probably won’t help. So while I know it’s gotta be scary and frustrating, just know that everybody here is on your side and we’ll do whatever we can to help you out. I’m here, you know? I’ll tell you whatever you need - or want - to know.”

Souji didn’t look _happy_ at this, but he did look grateful. “Thank you, Yosuke. Um.” He worried his lip for a second, and Yosuke - recognising his ‘thinking, but afraid to ask’ look, gave a gentle smile.

“Go ahead, Souji. What’s up?”

The silver-haired boy looked surprised at this, and then rubbed the back of his head. “I guess I do that a lot, huh?” When Yosuke nodded, he gave a sheepish smile. “Well, uncle said that he wants to bring Nanako by this afternoon. I… don’t know her, though, and I don’t want to hurt her…”

Yosuke gave him a smile that was far more confident than he felt. “You’ll be fine, dude. I mean, I get it, but Nanako is… Nanako is something else. She’s smart, and cute, and a heck of a lot more mature than you or I.” He laughed, and Souji smiled a little, and Yosuke took heart at his smile. “She’s six - no, wait, seven - and pretty much everybody in our group would kill to have her as a little sister. She calls you ‘big bro’ and idolises you, although I have no idea why.”

He smirked, and Souji blinked, and then he smiled a little - and actually gave a small laugh, at which Yosuke felt like he’d conquered a whole mountain by himself. It wasn’t exactly that he was _happy_ \- but knowing that Souji didn’t hate him, that Souji _wanted_ to talk to him… that meant a so much to him. Giving a grin, he opened his wallet, pulling out a group photo from one of their get-togethers at the Dojima house, with Nanako sitting at the kotatsu between Souji and Teddie, and Souji had an arm around the little girl, smiling as she squinted and giggled, and Teddie was trying to get in on the hug, too. Chie and Yukiko were on the couch, laughing, and Kanji was sitting on the opposite side of the kotatsu, and Naoto was just visible in the corner of the photo, walking over to the couch with a mug of tea in her hand. Rise was at the kotatsu as well, leaning towards Souji and Nanako, laughing. It was the only photo he’d left in his wallet, feeling it would at least be _safe_ ; it hurt to look at it, but he knew it would help.

“Take a look, this is you and Nanako.”

Souji leaned forward, taking the picture; his fingers brushed Yosuke’s as he did, and the brunette flushed, although Souji didn’t seem to notice. He had an odd look on his face, and after a moment, Yosuke frowned.

“Sorry, dude, I guess it’s weird to see yourself interacting with people you don’t know-” He leaned forward to take the photo, feeling upset with himself, but Souji just shook his head, pulling back a little. 

“No, actually… I mean, it’s weird, but… it helps? Maybe this will help me learn a little bit about my friends.” He looked up at Yosuke. “I don’t see you in this photo?”

“That’s ‘cause I took it.” A small smile. “Your uncle’s busy a lot, so it’s just the lot of us, usually, and Nanako. And I’d rather have Nanako in a photo I’m gonna keep, not myself.”

 _Unless I’m in your arms_ , he amended, mentally - but he wasn’t going to let himself say that to Souji.

Souji, meanwhile, nodded again, looking back at the photo. “Nanako is really cute. She seems really sweet, too. Happy.”

“You have no idea, bro. She’s like… well, she’s not an angel, but she’s pretty close. You’re gonna love her, I promise.”

Smiling a little, Souji looked back at the photo. “So, who are these other people?”

Leaning over - trying _not_ to think about how Souji smelled like.. _Souji_ \- Yosuke pointed. “This is Chie Satonaka, this is Yukiko Amagi, this is…”

* * *

As the brunette leaned over, pointing out the people in the photo and talking about their personalities, Souji listened - but he also found himself thinking about the brunette beside him. He didn’t _know_ Yosuke - at least, not that he remembered - so why did he feel so _comfortable_ with the brunette? When he wasn’t actively thinking about how he didn’t know the guy, he found himself listening and smiling and almost forgetting that he was in the hospital, missing an entire year’s worth of memories.

 _It’s got to be because we were friends._ It was the only thing he could think of; after all, best friends usually _were_ that comfortable together. _Maybe it’s just autopilot. Maybe it’s as simple as stopping myself from thinking about it so much._

He knew it wasn’t _that_ easy, but he was at least grateful that Yosuke was there, and willing to help him out. He continued to listen to the brunette’s stories about the people in the photo, and he started to piece together a picture of a group of friends who had their moments, but all got along really well. It was the kind of friend group he’d never had before Inaba, and he could see why they would have been so important to him. _I just hope they don’t mind me sticking around… I hope I don’t let them down._

Hiding his worries, he looked back at the photo; Yosuke was telling him about the blonde boy - Teddie, his brother - when a thought crossed Souji’s mind. 

“I wasn’t dating any of them, was I?”

He was looking at the photo, trying to see if he felt anything special for anyone in the image; after a moment, he realised that the brunette hadn’t answered, and he looked up, only to see an expression fade so quickly that it barely had a chance to register, followed up by a smile. 

“Nah, dude.” He pointed. “Chie and Yukiko are dating, everyone knows that Kanji and Naoto _should_ be dating, although they’re both pretty dense about everything, Ted’s too annoying and too young, and you never seemed interested in Rise. Besides, she’s got a career and everything, I don’t think she’s interested in dating.”

“Ah.” He felt a little relieved - if he hadn’t been dating anyone, it meant there was nobody out there that was hurt worse by his amnesia - and he looked back at the photo. “I guess you aren’t dating any of them, either?”

Yosuke’s response was immediate this time, which saved Souji from looking up to see an expression the brunette _couldn’t_ hide, not quickly. “Nope.”

* * *

The rest of the day passed with Yosuke telling Souji stories about the group, about their summer together, about things they liked to do; they decided to see if Chie would be up for visiting the next day, as Souji wanted to start meeting his friends slowly, before he got out of the hospital. 

The reunion with Nanako went about as well as could be expected; it was a little awkward, and Yosuke knew that it was hurting the little girl as much as it was hurting him, but he also saw the same strength in her that they'd all always admired. Souji also seemed to be a little more comfortable with her - thanks to the photo, although Yosuke never would have assumed it was his doing - and he let Nanako climb onto the bed and give him a hug before she left, which made the little girl glow. 

By this point, Souji was looking tired, and Yosuke’s poor sleep from the night before was catching up to him, so the brunette bid his friend goodnight. It was gratifying to see the silver-haired boy’s shoulders fall - just a little - when Yosuke got up to go; halfway to the door, however, he had the thought that it was probably as much because he was _lonely_ as it was because he didn’t want to see Yosuke leave.

While Yosuke would rather have thought that Souji just liked being around him that much, he knew that sitting in the hospital all night, by himself, worrying could _not_ be good for Souji’s anxiety; stopping at the door, he turned.

“Hey, Souji.” 

His friend - who’d been looking down at the hospital blanket, a worried expression on his face - looked up, quickly; the expression on his face was almost enough to make the brunette blurt out something stupid, but he just bit it back, smiling.

“I know it’s gotta get boring in here. Want me to bring by some books and stuff tomorrow? I know what ones you’ve borrowed and liked, so…”

Surprise - followed by relief - spread across the silver-haired boy’s face, and he nodded. “If it’s not too much trouble… I’m afraid I sit here and worry too much, and I’m sure it’s not good for my memory. Thank you, Yosuke.”

“Sure thing, Souji. Have a good night, okay? And whenever your uncle brings your phone, you can text me whenever you want - if you want.”

“That’d be nice.” A smile touched Souji’s lips, and Yosuke left with the determination that he’d spend every day trying to bring that smile back, no matter what it took.

* * *

Yosuke, of course, came back the next day, carrying a backpack full of goodies - books he knew Souji had liked, some CDs and a CD player, snacks, Souji’s favourite melon soda, and even one of his hand-held game consoles, along with a couple of games he knew Souji had enjoyed. The silver-haired boy brightened up when he saw Yosuke; it was strangely almost like the previous spring, as they were getting to know each other. This time, however, instead of Yosuke being the eager and uncertain one, it was Souji. The brunette didn’t exactly _like_ it - Souji, after all, was the one who was supposed to be the confident leader, self-assured and knowing just what to do - but Yosuke _had_ learned over the year, both as Souji’s boyfriend and as his ‘second’, and if he had to step up while Souji recovered, he would. 

There was a satisfied expression on Yosuke’s face as he watched Souji dig through the backpack - there were a few moments of surprise when he found all of his favourite snacks, but it soon passed - and the silver-haired boy was reading over the back of one of the books Yosuke had brought him when the door opened slowly, and Chie stuck her head in.

“Uh, hello?”

“Hey, Chie.” Yosuke had called her the night before, and told her everything that had been going on; he’d followed it up with a group text to everyone, so as not to keep them out of the loop, but he’d wanted to make sure Chie knew just how important it was not to _push_ Souji, or to mention anything that might bring up him and Yosuke, or the TV world. “Come on in. Souji, this is Chie Satonaka. She sits next to you in class.”

Souji looked nervous, but more comfortable than he had been; he held out a hand, and looking embarrassed, Chie shook it, and Yosuke let her take the chair while he sat on the side of the bed, where he’d been sitting as he talked to Souji about the books he’d brought.

The conversation was awkward at first; it was clear that Chie didn’t know what to say, and Souji tried to ask her a few things, but he kept falling quiet, as if he wasn’t sure what he could and couldn’t say. Yosuke, who was watching the two, finally realised - _Souji’s always been more comfortable listening than talking. Especially back when we first met him_. 

Armed with this memory, Yosuke steered the conversation into territory he and Chie would be more familiar with - asking about how the inn was doing, and talking about a new movie that had just come out that they’d all been interested in. Chie soon opened back up to her normal, bubbly self, and Souji settled back, seemingly more comfortable now that he could listen and interject the occasional comment. 

* * *

After about an hour, Chie - who’d been talking animatedly about a miniseries that was currently playing on TV - paused, looking over at Souji. 

“Hey, Souji, are you doing ok? You keep fidgeting with your ring. I just don’t want to bore you, I know I get carried away sometimes, and-” She trailed off, looking a little embarrassed, but Souji blinked, feeling startled, as he’d been focused and almost feeling relaxed.

“Huh? Oh, no.” He looked down at his ring. “I don’t- sorry, it seems to be a habit I have, whenever I’m focused or thinking. I don’t really remember where this ring came from, but it’s comfortable.” Looking up, he saw a strange look on Chie’s face, almost as if she’d stubbed her toe and was trying not to cry - or swear; he looked back down at the ring. “Did someone give this to me?”

Yosuke answered almost immediately. “Oh, heh, you picked that up while you were here over the year. You always liked it, so I guess that’s why you fidget with it.” 

“Oh, I see.” Souji looked back down at his hand. He’d never usually been one to wear jewelry, but he didn’t hate it; it was just a hammered silver band with a wave-like pattern pressed along the lower edge. “It’s nice. I’m not usually a fidgeter, but I guess everyone develops habits.”

“Yeah, and don’t worry. You’ll never fidget as much as Chie. You used to have to get on her for bouncing her knee during class, and I’m sure you will again.”

“ _Yosuke_ , rrgh!” Chie looked embarrassed. “You used to tap Souji’s desk with your foot all the time, and he’d have to turn around and tell you to stop, so don’t act all high and mighty!” 

The brunette turned red at this, and Souji couldn’t help it; he snickered, then gave a little laugh. The others turned to look at him, surprised expressions on their faces, and he smiled. 

“I can see you two are good friends. It was fun hanging out today.”

* * *

When Chie left - smiling a little more than when she’d come in - they’d just finished making plans for the rest of the group to visit the next day; it was going to be a short visit, since Souji was still feeling nervous about meeting everyone at once, but he also felt like he’d be able to handle it, as long as Yosuke was around to help him manage the crowd. The brunette had just reached for his drink -  he’d brought a couple of orange sodas for himself - when Souji, who’d been looking down at his ring again, looked up.

“I-” He took a deep breath. “I feel bad relying on you like this, since I know this has to be hard for you, but I- I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here. I feel comfortable around you, and I just want you to know that. So, thank you, Yosuke. And don’t let me put you out, I don’t want you to feel like you have to go out of your way for me.”

An odd look crossed Yosuke’s face at this, and for a second, it looked as if he was about to cry; Souji felt strange when he saw it, but if they’d been best friends, he could understand why it was affecting the brunette so much, and the fact that he _was_ so affected made the silver-haired boy feel a little warmer inside. Finally, Yosuke cleared his throat. 

“Thanks, that… means a lot. I’m not joking when I say we all care a lot about you, you know? So I’m not going out of my way at all, I’m _happy_ to be able to spend time with you. After all, even if this hadn’t happened, we would have been hanging out every day, you know? It was what we did, anyway, and I’m having fun.” The brunette bit his lip, looking as if he wanted to say more, but finally, he shook his head. “Seriously, dude. If I’m busy or I don’t want to come by, I’ll tell you, okay? Until then, assume I’m enjoying it as much as you are.”

At these words, Souji found himself relaxing more than he had since he’d first woken up; there was something about Yosuke’s earnestness that convinced him that what the brunette was saying was true, and if it didn’t make him _happy_ , it made him a little less worried. He wasn’t foolish enough to think that he’d wake up the next morning and suddenly remember everyone, but he at least felt like it would be _okay_ , that he’d figure it out, someday, as long as the brunette stuck around. 

He couldn’t say all of this, however - he didn’t even know how to put it into words - so he just nodded, swallowing. “Thanks, Yosuke. That really means a lot to me.”

A small, soft smile flitted across the brunette’s face before he gave Souji a grin.

“Of course, bro. Any time.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 of Please Remember Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from a trip (oh my god I came up with so many SouYo AU/fluff ideas), things are a little better now, so hopefully the chapters will start picking up a little. If there are any Japanese words you'd like translated, let me know; I've gone over all of these in my main fic, and you can google most of them, so I haven't focused so much on defining them here.

“Souji _what?_ You’ve got to be kidding me, what happened? Can’t the doctors do anything?” Kou looked flabbergasted, and Daisuke - sitting on the bench behind Kou, who was standing - crossed his arms, leaning back.

“And you’re just breaking up with him, like that?” Yosuke winced at this, and at his expression, the other two also winced; Daisuke rubbed the back of his head. “S-sorry, man. It’s just - you guys seemed to be so happy, and now-”

“Daisuke.” Kou hissed at his friend through gritted teeth. “Not. Helping.”

“It’s okay, Kou.” Yosuke sighed, rubbing his forehead as he looked at the black-haired boy. “The doctors have no idea what happened, but that also means they have no idea what’s going to bring his memories back - if anything is. And we-”

The brunette paused, closing his eyes; it was just as hard to say this time as it had been every other time - he’d have thought that eventually it would just become numb, but the words ached as badly or worse each time he said them. When he opened his eyes, he saw his friends watching, looking concerned; he flashed them a smile that attempted to look light-hearted but - from their reactions - must have ended up looking sickly and painful. Their sympathetic responses made it hurt even worse.

“We… it’s a breakup because Souji doesn’t need to stress himself out trying to remember me or pretend he loves me when he doesn’t - he can’t love someone he doesn’t know, but he’d kill himself trying, you know? But I…” He closed his eyes. “Well, I’m sticking by him no matter what, unless he decides he doesn’t want me to be around any more. Right now, though…” He gave them a small smile. “Right now he’s been asking me to hang out every day and help him get to know the others again.”

Kou and Daisuke looked at each other for a moment, then back to the brunette, and the basketball captain nodded. “We getcha, dude. And for what it’s worth, we’re here if you need us. Have you told any of the others yet?”

Yosuke shook his head. “Haven’t had a chance, but I’m reaching out to Ai next, and then I’ll tackle Yumi, Ayane, and Naoki whenever I can get ahold of them.” He sighed. “Just… I have one favour to ask. Please don’t say anything to Souji about us dating. I’m gonna ask Ai to spread it around school that we’re not dating any more or whatever, I just… want it to be old news by the time school starts back up, you know?”

“Ugh, Yosuke, that sucks.” Kou frowned, patting the brunette’s shoulder. “We’ll do what we can. Though, is Souji gonna be able to go through third year? Didn’t he forget everything?”

“That’s the weird thing.” Yosuke sighed. “He remembers most of what we studied, with a few holes here and there. The doctors think that sort of thing goes into a different part of the brain, or something, I don’t know, hell. Plus, he doesn’t have to focus so hard to remember it, it’s like he does better when he’s not pushing to remember things.” He stopped, having to rein in his bitterness; it still pissed him off that Souji could remember the definition of anaerobics, but couldn’t remember the person he’d whispered “I love you” to every night for eight months. “Anyway.” He looked at his watch. “I gotta get home now. I guess I'll see you guys around; once Souji's out of the hospital, we can all meet up.”

Daisuke nodded, standing, and Kou gave the brunette a sympathetic smile. “Sounds good,Yosuke - just let us know what we can do to help. Take care, dude.”

* * *

A week later, Souji stood in his hospital room, holding an overnight bag; he’d accumulated quite a few odds-and-ends over the two weeks they’d kept him for tests. Yosuke was leaning over the side chair, shoving a couple of books - ones that Souji had finished during his stay - into his own backpack; once he’d zipped the bag up, he gave a look around the room. “Got everything?”

“I think so. Thanks again, Yosuke. I would have hated to have to make uncle keep missing work for my sake. Are you- are you sure you don’t mind spending the day together? I mean, I’m sure I can manage it on my own…”

He trailed off, feeling anxious, and Yosuke just shook his head, smiling. “Nah, man, what are friends for, you know? It would suck to have to spend the day in an unfamiliar house, and I’m sure you can use some help unpacking or whatever. Besides, like I said before, we used to spend most of our time together, except when we had to do family stuff or whatever. Although-” The brunette paused, an anxious look crossing his face; he was quiet for long enough that Souji had just started to ask if he was okay when Yosuke started to talk again. “Hey, so, you know… if you‘d actually rather… not hang out so much… I’d understand. I mean, I get that just because we _used_ to be friends doesn’t mean that you’ve got to keep wasting time with me so much now if- if-” There was a _look_ on Yosuke’s face as he said this that smote Souji’s heart; it was clear that the brunette was trying to put on a cheerful face, but that he was actually terrified that Souji was going to tell him he wanted the brunette to back off. 

Not that it was an issue - Souji didn’t know what he would have done if Yosuke hadn’t been around for the last week to help him get through the nerve wracking process of getting reintroduced to his friends. Even if he _hadn’t_ needed the brunette’s support, he enjoyed his company; apart from the trust he felt for Yosuke, there was something so reliable and dependable about his friend, and the brunette seemed so… _confident_ that Souji found himself feeling so much calmer and relaxed whenever Yosuke was around. It was enough that he sometimes found himself wondering how someone like _him_ had ended up becoming friends with someone as cool as Yosuke - not that he was going to complain. It was clear that somehow, the brunette _appreciated_ his friendship, for which Souji was immensely grateful. Shaking his head hurriedly, he gripped his duffel bag strap, which was slung across his chest. 

“Are you kidding? No, I- Yosuke, I’m… no, I don’t want you to go away, I really enjoy spending time together, I just hate feeling like I’m wasting your time…”

He bit his lip as Yosuke blinked.

“Hell no, Souji, you’re not wasting my time. I mean it when I say I’d rather be hanging out with you than anyone else.”

The words made Souji feel a little embarrassed; he scratched his cheek, trying to hide what he was pretty sure was a blush as he looked down, feeling pleased. “I’m glad. I feel the same way.”

Looking down, he missed the look of _longing_ Yosuke gave him as he said this; by the time he’d raised his head to meet the brunette’s eyes it was gone, and Yosuke was just smiling at him warmly. 

“Well, that makes me happy, and I guess it means neither of us need to worry. Now, are you ready to go? I know Nanako’s waiting for you to get home, I think she said something about wanting to make curry for dinner, and let me tell you, her curry is really good. You taught her to make it.”

“I did?” Souji felt surprised, but pleased. “I’m glad. I like cooking, a lot.”

“Yeah. And we all love eating your food.”

“Good to know. Once I get used to the house, I’ll make something for you.” Souji smiled at Yosuke as they walked down the hallway, heading for the exit; he was gratified to see a happy expression cross the brunette’s face at this. 

“Heck yeah, dude! I cheerfully accept, any time. I can’t wait!”

* * *

The warm feeling this gave Souji lasted through most of the afternoon, but once the brunette had gone home - after dinner, saying that his parents wanted him home for the evening - the silver-haired boy found himself looking around his new room, feeling lost. Unpacking had been strange - nothing was packed as he remembered it, and there were new things in and amidst his familiar belongings, like new clothes and books. At least Yosuke had been there; every time Souji found something he didn’t recognise, Yosuke would tell him where it had come from and try to make a funny story out of it. 

It was a little strange; the stories Yosuke told almost always had _Souji_ at the centre of things - making decisions, leading group activities, hanging out with their friends - but Souji wondered if that wasn’t just because the brunette was telling it from his point of view. 

_It does seem like we spent all of our time together. That, in itself, makes me feel bad - I already really enjoy Yosuke’s company, if we were better friends than this, I can’t imagine_ forgetting _him. How? How could I forget my best friend, my uncle, my cousin, my friends that I spent so much time with?_

The more he sat in his unfamiliar room, the more uncomfortable he began to feel; Nanako was asleep, and Souji’s uncle was working in his room, and Souji just didn’t know what to _do_ with himself. He turned on the TV in his room, but none of the reruns were interesting; he’d never been much of a television fan, anyway.

After a while, he picked up his cell phone. It was brand-new - his uncle had told him that he had his old phone, but that at the doctor’s recommendation he’d gotten his nephew a new one; phones were, by their nature, repositories of memories and information, and it might be too much for Souji to handle.

He understood, but he couldn’t help wishing he could read back over his old conversations with his friends - especially Yosuke. _I’m still not sure where the boundaries are. I don’t know what he does and doesn’t like, beyond things like music, and orange-flavoured snacks, and music magazines._

Hesitating for a moment, he pulled up the brunette’s number and sent a quick text. 

> Hope your night’s going well.

Of course, it wasn’t like Yosuke was waiting on the other end of the phone - especially if he had family stuff to do - so Souji idly poked through the stuff on his desk; after a few minutes, he found his stack of coloured origami paper. He brightened up - he’d always enjoyed the hobby, he found the motions soothing and it required enough attention that it kept his mind from wandering, but wasn’t so involved he had to think too terribly hard about it. 

He’d just sat down at the table in front of his couch when his phone lit up; he was a bit surprised - it had only been a few minutes since he’d texted Yosuke, after all - but the brunette’s text made him smile.

> ted’s bein obnox, mom made me clean my room, this sux

Running his fingers over a piece of white paper with a silver-and-copper bird pattern that reminded him of Yosuke, Souji typed back a text.

> I’d help if I could. Do you want to hang out tomorrow? I’d be happy to do anything. 

Souji got through two-and-a-half cranes before his phone lit up again; he finished the third, then eyed the stack of paper. _Do I want to make some other animals? Nanako might like an origami cat… but then… maybe if I make a thousand cranes… I could ask for my memories back._

He bit his lip. He didn’t exactly _believe_ that a thousand cranes would earn him a wish, but then, he was dealing with what felt like a curse with no explanation, so what could it hurt? It would at least give him something to focus on, to work towards. Sighing, he picked his phone back up; it had been flashing almost nonstop since the first new text.

> r u kiddin ofc i want 2 hang out
> 
> how bout i show u round town ‘n stuff
> 
> u rly like the floodplain, n mb the cats’ll b out
> 
> u wanna get food w some folks, daisuke and kou wanna c u i told u abt them

Souji hesitated for a moment, but taking a deep breath, he found himself nodding. _Yosuke will be there, it will be fine._

> Sure. I’d like you to show me around. And I do love cats. I guess everybody knows?
> 
> And lunch sounds fine. They’re the sports friends, right? I was on the soccer team with Daisuke?

Yosuke’s next text came before he’d even finished picking out his next square of paper.

> lmfao dude evrybody knos u luv cats, like srs
> 
> i think the cats all kno u, b rdy 4 the onslaught
> 
> u’d get 2 cot up n playin’ w cats n we’d be late sometimes
> 
> u were cute tho

Souji stopped at this last text, squinting at it. _“Cute?” Is he…_ His mouth felt dry; this was one of the reasons he wished he’d had Yosuke’s old texts - he just didn’t _know_ if this kind of thing was usual for the brunette, if he was just supposed to ignore how oddly it made his stomach feel, or if Yosuke was trying flirt with him, or-

After a second, he took a deep breath. _Yosuke jokes around, I already know that, and he’s never_ once _given me a reason to think he’d try to flirt with me. Why did I even_ think _that?_ Feeling disgusted with himself and his overreactions, he picked his phone back up.

> Cute? I prefer ‘thoughtful’ or ‘sensitive’, thank you.

Shaking his head at his own foolishness, he picked up the next piece of paper, determined to _focus_.

* * *

It wasn’t until Yosuke got the follow-up text that he realised the mistake he’d made; he looked back at the text he’d sent - ‘u were cute tho’ - with a horrified expression on his face. 

_Oh god._

He stared at Souji’s return text as if trying to read what had been on his ex’s mind as he’d sent it, but of course the digital screen held no answers. Biting his lip, he typed back something - an attempt to be witty, to cover it up - even as he felt sick.

> sry, take it ^ w the girls, that’s wat they called u

Tossing his phone aside, he buried his face against his knees. _Dammit. I want to tell him he’s cute, I want to tell him he’s so cute I can’t stand it. I want to tell him that seeing him sitting there with cats in his lap, with that stupid smile on his face, always made me so ridiculously happy. He’s such a fucking softie, and I’m such a fucking sap for him… I always will be… but I can’t even send him a text without almost fucking it up, this sucks so much… dammit, Souji, I miss you so much! Why did you have to leave me behind?_

* * *

Yosuke must have gotten busy with cleaning his room, because the texts - while never stopping - tapered off after the ‘cute’ joke, and the brunette seemed distracted. Souji sighed, finished another three cranes, and decided to go to bed. _At least we’ll be hanging out tomorrow. That’s something to look forward to_. 

He used to find silence relaxing, especially when he tried to sleep; since he’d woken up in the hospital, however, he found himself disliking it more and more. It was too empty, too easy for him to fill the silence with worried, cyclical thoughts. He _knew_ that trying to force himself to remember wasn’t going to work, but he couldn’t _help_ it.

It was worse in his ‘new’ room. There was no comforting city buzz, but just the occasional sounds of dogs or birds, one-off cars, sometimes bikes or people. There was a street lamp outside his window; it took him a good half-hour to figure out how to slat the blinds _just right_ so that the light was muted enough for him to sleep, and he couldn’t help thinking, _I’m sure I already figured this out once before. And I’ll bet these sounds used to be familiar and comforting to me._

Eventually Souji fell asleep; it was fitful, though, and his dreams were strange. He found himself in what looked like a labyrinth of mirrors; after a while, he realised that the mirrors were actually televisions, full of static and occasional blips of lines and colour. Feeling claustrophobic, he tried to find his way through the maze; occasionally he’d catch a glimpse, out of the corner of his eye, of a strange figure flashing across the screens - it didn’t seem to be human, and he had the impression of a long coat and mechanical golden eyes - and he’d hear echoes that sometimes sounded like ‘thou’ and sometimes ‘I’. It was so strange and fragmented, however, that he couldn’t be sure of any of it when he woke the next morning, feeling dry and wrung out.

* * *

Souji said nothing to Yosuke the next day about his dream; there was no real reason to - the brunette already worried enough about him, he wasn’t going to make it worse by trying to get him to analyze strange nightmares. He did, however, buy a pair of earbuds he could use while laying down; his new phone had a large memory, and Yosuke had already told him it would be fine if he wanted to copy the CDs he’d borrowed before returning them.

Otherwise, the day passed well enough; he enjoyed meeting Daisuke and Kou - although he could tell it was a little awkward for them, for which he felt guilty until Kou slapped his shoulder and told him to stop acting like it was the end of the world. 

The next week passed much in the same vein; Souji hung out with Yosuke, who occasionally introduced him to friends and classmates, and every so often - more often as Souji got more comfortable - they’d get together with the whole group. He found himself _liking_ the rest of the group, too; there were times that it got a little hard to handle, as they all talked at once, or started going on about inside jokes he _didn’t remember_ (and then Yosuke would step in and Souji would feel both grateful and guilty), but overall they were open and friendly, and he felt comfortable with them. 

He found out that Yosuke worked part-time at Junes; without much else to do, Souji put in to work part-time, as well, with the understanding that he’d usually work during Yosuke’s shifts, so that the brunette could help him. This also gave Souji the chance to start doing more things on his own - such as shopping for dinner, or bringing small gifts home for Nanako (who had already firmly won his heart). It was slow-going, but as the days progressed, he found it a little easier to get around, even if he still couldn’t remember anything he really wanted to.

* * *

One evening, about a week and a half after Souji got out of the hospital, he got off work a little earlier than Yosuke, so he invited the brunette to come by afterwards for dinner. Yosuke seemed excited, which made Souji feel both happy and apprehensive; he was afraid of letting the brunette down. He spent longer than he wanted to combing the food department for ingredients; finally he forced himself to _pick_ something, knowing that he would barely have enough time to get most of the meal made before Yosuke arrived. Heading home, he greeted Nanako; shoving his purchases into the fridge, he rolled up his sleeves and got to work. 

When Yosuke knocked on the door, Nanako had to let him in, as Souji was in the middle of cooking - he was still surprised to hear her greet the brunette with a cheerful ‘Yosuke-nii! Hi!’ whenever he came over - and the silver-haired boy had just turned, saibashi in hand, to greet their guest when he saw that Yosuke had stopped in the kitchen doorway, an odd look on his face. 

Stomach sinking, Souji looked over at the stove to make sure nothing was burning; there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, so he bit his lip. “Uh… I’m sorry, I didn’t ask… I _should_ have asked, I just wanted- sorry.” He took a deep breath. “Do you not like shogayaki?”

Yosuke, who’d been looking almost like he was in pain, shook his head as if he’d been focused somewhere else and had to bring his attention back; he shot a look at the stove, and then at the large chopsticks in Souji’s hands, and gave a short laugh. “Actually, that’s not it. It’s… my favourite.”

Souji’s relief was palpable. “Oh, _good_ , I was afraid I’d screwed something up. Uh, go ahead and come on in. Sit anywhere.”

* * *

Yosuke, meanwhile, was having to fight back the sudden wave of _hope_ he had, which he _knew_ was presumptive and misplaced. _Just because shogayaki was the first dish he ever made for me, just because it was my favourite, doesn’t mean he remembers me. After all, if it was his first dish last time, it stands to reason it’d be his first one this time, probably for the same reasons he picked it the first time._

Still, the brunette couldn’t _help_ it. Even if he knew it wasn’t wise, he couldn’t stop himself from indulging in the fantasy that Souji had remembered, or was in the middle of remembering, and that he’d bring dinner over with tears in his eyes and trembling hands and a confession that he’d made it as a way to express his love for Yosuke, having regained his memories, and that they wouldn't have to be apart any longer. 

When Souji finally _did_ bring the food to the table - with Nanako’s help, having told Yosuke to just relax - the brunette was halfway through serving himself when he stopped, blinking at the dish. “Uh, Souji?”

“Yeah?” Souji looked up from the teapot, having just poured green tea for everyone. 

Yosuke looked back at the food. “Isn’t it usual to cook shogayaki with onions in the cabbage?”

Souji raised an eyebrow, looking at the plate. “Yeah, it is, but sometimes I like to experiment with dishes. I’m sorry, I should have asked first-”

He sounded upset, and Yosuke swallowed, hard. It seemed small and unimportant - except that the brunette _hated_ onions, and although Souji had added them the first few times he’d cooked the dish for Yosuke, he’d stopped as soon as he found out how much the brunette disliked them. Sometimes he’d just cook cabbage; sometimes he’d substitute carrots or scallions. 

Was it surprising, then, that he felt a little hope?

Still, there was no reason to believe that Souji had done it _for_ Yosuke, so the brunette just gave a small smile, forcing it to be as natural as possible. “Dude, don’t worry. I hate onions, so it all works out.”

“Oh, _good_.” Souji looked relieved, and the expression on his face was so familiar and so dear to Yosuke that it took everything he had not to reach out and squeeze the silver-haired boy’s hand. Nanako, meanwhile, was looking back and forth between them.

“Yeah! Yosuke-nii hates onions and tofu and he thinks fish are creepy. He likes sushi, though. His favourite is hotategai! Oh, and he likes pudding, and-”

Turning red, Yosuke hurried to cut off the little girl’s recital. “Thanks, Nanako, but that’s not anything your big bro needs to worry about right now.”

“Actually.” Souji gave a small smile. “I’m glad to know, I don’t want to mess up the next time I cook for you. I’m glad I got it right this time, but I can’t count on coincidences _every_ time.”

“Ah, heh, yeah, I guess. Thanks. Dinner is great, you know. Perfect.” Yosuke forced a smile onto his face as he turned his attention back to his meal, trying to ignore the pleased expression on Souji’s face.

_He’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill me and he won’t even know that he’s doing it._ On the surface, it seemed like a funny thought, but deep down inside it just hurt him a little more as he thought about how _perfect_ Souji was for him - _was within arms’ reach_ \- but the brunette had to pretend there was nothing there. _And there’s no guarantee that I’ll ever be able to stop pretending._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 5 of Please Remember Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will probably be ~5 more chapters after this one.

Things slowly began to regain a strange sort of normalcy; Souji reintegrated with the group, although he was always shy and quiet - it took everyone some time to get used to Yosuke being the one leading the discussions and making plans, but after a few times where someone would forget about Souji’s amnesia and turn to him for an idea or a reassurance, which would panic Souji and cause Yosuke to step in, they finally began to accept the new status quo. Nobody exactly _liked_ it - Souji, after all, had been their rock, their ‘leader’ for so long - but Yosuke surprised everyone with how responsible he’d become, and while it was still usual to see Chie fuss at the brunette, or Rise tease him, they all acknowledged that he’d become the new de facto leader.

School started again, and while the silver-haired boy found himself overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who knew _him_ , but whom he didn’t know, Yosuke was by his side every day, and slowly Souji began to readjust. His grades were still as good as ever, and he found that he was still good at leading study groups - he was _so_ grateful to have something with which he could _help_ Yosuke that it almost made the brunette feel guilty - but otherwise there was no change in his memory.

Souji and Yosuke continued to hang out as much as they ever had, and Souji grew more and more reliant on Yosuke. Seeing the brunette was the brightest spot in every day, and he felt like Yosuke was his lifeline to the rest of the world - he always knew what was wrong, or what to say, or what information to give Souji, and Souji found himself becoming more and more attached to the brunette.

Occasionally, he’d hear people refer to Yosuke as a dork or a loser, or say something about the brunette that implied that he was clumsy, or a flake, but Souji didn’t _get_ it. He could only assume that they were being jealous; from everything he could see, Yosuke was one of the most mature members of their group - besides Naoto - and he was so open and responsible that Souji felt he could trust him with _anything_. Sure, the brunette had his moments - he was good at joking and laughing and once in a while would play a silly joke on Chie - but above everything else, Souji was struck by the fact that there was something _sad_ about Yosuke. He didn’t know what it was, of course; the brunette was outgoing, but he seemed reluctant to talk about himself, or anything that bothered him, and that in itself bothered Souji - not that he could blame Yosuke.

_I can’t even remember the last year, I’m sure I’m the last person he would want to go to about problems or troubles. I just hope I can grow to become the kind of person who can help him like he helps me. I at least wish he didn’t feel like he had to hold his sadness to himself. I wish I could help him face it, or handle it._

* * *

One afternoon, Souji was bustling around the kitchen, getting ingredients out to start prepping dinner; Yosuke was going to be coming over - they were planning to spend the night together - and Souji wanted everything to be _perfect_. After all, the brunette did _so much_ for Souji, every day, and the silver-haired boy relished the few times he got to return the favour, to do something nice for Yosuke. Souji was comfortable in the Dojima house by now - he and Nanako had become just as close as ever, to no one’s surprise - and having Yosuke over always made him a mixture of happy and anxious, especially when the brunette spent the night. 

Happy was easy to explain; he enjoyed Yosuke’s company, and any time he could spend with the brunette was a thousand times nicer than time he could spend alone - or, indeed, with anyone else, if he had to be honest with himself. There was that small part of him, however, that recognised that ‘enjoying Yosuke’s company’ was not the _only_ reason that having the brunette around made Souji happy - and that led into the anxious part. More and more, he felt an odd nervousness around his friend, an ache that he tried to conceal, and he was beginning to worry about it. He wasn’t unaware of what that usually amounted to, and _falling in love_ with Yosuke, he realised, was something he was not ready to have happen - and he was _certain_ it was a bad idea, for so many reasons he wouldn’t allow himself to think about.

Love or not, however, he couldn’t imagine _not_ being friends with Yosuke, _not_ hanging out with the brunette, so he shoved his feelings of confusion into the same corner that held his constant anxiety over his missing memories, determined to ignore it. He had curry to make; naturally, that took precedence. 

As usual, he was elbow-deep in the middle of cooking when the brunette knocked; as usual, Nanako flew to the door, an excited expression on her face.

“Yosuke-nii! Hiii! Big bro’s making curry!”

“Hey, Nanako, I can smell it, it smells great. I brought dessert - wanna guess what it is?”

“Ummmmm, pudding?”

Yosuke laughed, coming into the kitchen. “Nope, that’s my fave, this is yours.”

The little girl’s face lit up. “Oooooh, strawberry shortcake?”

“Bingo!” Yosuke opened the box he was holding, showing a pretty white-and-red cake, and Nanako clapped her hands. 

“Yaaaay! I love strawberries. Big bro, Yosuke-nii brought strawberry cake!”

Souji couldn’t help smiling at his little cousin’s excitement, although it was still so _weird_ to him, seeing how close Nanako and Yosuke were - yet another sign that the brunette had been an integral part of his life before he’d lost his memories. 

“I heard. Go ahead and put it in the fridge, please. What can I get you to drink, Yosuke?”

Smiling, the brunette took a seat at the kitchen table while Nanako carried the cake box over to the fridge. “Eh, whatever’s fine.”

Hesitating, Souji reached for the teapot; he was starting to notice that whenever he asked Yosuke a question about his preferences - what he wanted to do, or read, or eat, or drink, or anything that would give him more insight into the brunette’s personality - Yosuke would just wave it off with an ‘anything is fine’ or ‘whatever you want’. While he’d thought nothing about it at first, it was starting to get to the point where Souji felt frustrated every time it happened.

_He’s probably trying to make things easy for me, but it feels like he just… doesn’t want to let me in, or let me know anything about himself. Am I imagining how close we are? Am I just an inconvenience, making him go out of his way because he can’t bring himself to say no to someone who’s lost their memories? If we never talk, if he never tells me what he likes, what his interests are, we’ll never get closer._

The thought sobered him and he had to force himself not to frown as he stood over the stove; luckily, the process gave him a chance to hide his troubles, and by the time he had a mug of tea for the brunette, he was able to give him a semi-normal smile. 

Dinner passed as most of their meals passed - with Nanako carrying a majority of the conversation, which neither of the boys minded - and once the dishes were done, they headed upstairs. Opening up his laptop, Souji navigated to the online movie service he’d subscribed to. 

“What should we watch?”

The brunette shrugged as he took a seat on the couch. “I’m cool with anything, man, whatever you-”

Souji couldn’t help his reaction. His face fell even as his stomach sank, and he knew his expression was unhappy; Yosuke stopped, mid-response, looking alarmed.

“What- what is it, Souji? What’s wrong?”

“I-” Mentally, Souji cursed himself - he hadn’t _wanted_ to bring it up, he knew he was already making so much trouble for Yosuke, he didn’t want to be demanding on top of it, and to tell the truth he was terrified of hearing that the brunette really _was_ ‘just putting up with him’. _Still, the damage is done. I have to tell him, or he’ll think it’s something even worse_. Shaking his head, he answered, bitterly.

“That’s all you ever say, Yosuke. Whenever I ask what you want, or want to do, or like, you just tell me ‘whatever’. I know you’re probably trying to go easy on me and I appreciate that, but I just… it feels like…” He screwed up his face for a second before forcing a calmer expression back onto it. “It feels like I’m just troubling you, that you don’t want me to know about you or that you’d rather not be here. And I know I’m probably being overemotional when I think that, but… even so… if I never learn about what you like and want to do, I’ll… I’ll always be an outsider.”

* * *

Yosuke stared at Souji, panic gripping his stomach as the silver-haired boy explained why he was so upset; there was an expression in Souji’s eyes that tore at Yosuke’s heart, and his voice as he spoke was so _small_ that Yosuke found himself equal parts horrified, guilty, and hopeful. _I was so focused on keeping everything about our relationship secret that I never thought about the fact that “I” and “us” are actually separate - details about me are not necessarily details about our relationship, as much as I only think about myself through the lens of how much I love Souji._ He winced, inwardly. _It’s_ not _fair to him, and here he is thinking I don’t want to be with him or to let him in, when it’s really the opposite...oh,_ Souji… He quashed the hope, hope that there were other reasons that Souji wanted to learn more about him; those feelings had no place here. The feelings of horror and guilt, however, still stood. Taking a deep breath, he rubbed his eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, Souji. I just-” His voice quivered - he wanted nothing more than to put his arms around his ex-boyfriend, but he had to resist. “I wasn’t thinking. It’s _not_ that I don’t want you to know about me, it’s not that I don’t want to be here, _please_ don’t think that. I just got so used to not talking about myself because I didn’t want to stress your memories that I just… got into the habit of deflecting everything. I’m sorry. Let’s, uh… here, there’s a comedy that came out last summer that we both really loved, let’s watch that. I’ll look it up.”

Souji looked relieved at this, and that was enough to restore a little equilibrium to the brunette’s emotions; he was still a wreck, of course, but he was a wreck _every_ day that he was with Souji, and he was with Souji every day, so he just buried it and reminded himself that they were becoming friends again, and maybe some day friends might mean something more. 

They watched the movie, and by the end of it Yosuke was composed enough to be able to laugh, and the rest of the night passed comfortably. They spent another couple of hours watching stupid videos online - Souji, of course, gravitated to the cat videos, and Yosuke, as usual, had a bunch of spoof music videos and game show clips to share with his friend - and it was after midnight by the time that they’d both gotten their showers and into bed.

 _This_ was the part of the night that Yosuke hated. While there was never a time that he didn’t miss Souji, he’d managed to get used to spending time with him normally - seeing Souji become more happy and open was worth it, after all. Lying in the same room at night, though - curled up on the couch when months before he would have been curled up in Souji’s arms - listening to his ex-boyfriend’s quiet breathing broke his heart. He’d taken it for granted, how comfortable it was to snuggle up with the person he loved; now it was almost impossible to go to sleep.

He actually would rather _not_ spend the night, when it came down to it, but how could he say no to Souji?  Even if he knew of an easy way to explain why he didn’t want to without making the silver-haired boy suspicious - or sad - he’d still be unable to say no to the hopeful look Souji gave him every time he suggested it. Part of him felt as if it were a sort of penance; obviously, he hadn’t been strong enough - or good enough - to protect Souji from whatever had stolen his memories, so now he was paying the price.

Eventually he fell asleep, but his rest was fitful, and the next morning was no easier; when he woke up, he found that Souji had already gone downstairs. Rubbing his eyes, the brunette headed downstairs as well; he stopped dead at the bottom of the stairs when he saw Souji, in the kitchen, standing at the stove making rolled eggs.

All Yosuke could think about was when they were together; he’d come downstairs to find Souji making breakfast, much like this - rolled eggs were their favourites, after all - and Yosuke, wearing one of Souji’s shirts, would walk up behind the silver-haired boy and hug him and then Souji would turn around and kiss him. 

The memory almost killed him; it was everything he could do to return Souji’s smile when he turned around, seeing the brunette standing on the lower steps. 

* * *

Spring turned to summer, and everyone was dismayed to find that because of the ‘nonstandard school year’ the year before, _another_ ‘team-building camping trip’ had been planned. The second-years weren’t involved this time - they’d get another trip the next year, when they became third-years - and although Rise was more than a little disappointed not to get to go on a trip with ‘Senpai’, everyone else (Yosuke had filled Souji in on the fact that ‘camping trip’ was synonymous with ‘trash duty’) was completely unenthused about the situation. They couldn’t exactly _all_ call out sick, however, and it was an unspoken understanding that if one of them was going to have to go through it, they all would - or suffer the others’ wrath - so they made their plans (Souji was elected chef, this time) and agreed that they’d try to make the best of it. The weather, at least, was decent.

As was expected, Souji and Yosuke had been paired up, as had Chie and Yukiko; they spent most of the day trudging around the mountainside, picking up garbage. They had a decent meal this time, at least, which was enough to raise everyone’s spirits; they sat around talking once they’d finished, but there was only a little time before they had to start cleaning up and getting ready for curfew. 

Souji had just headed off to take their garbage to the makeshift dump when Yosuke looked up to see a girl from 3-1 standing near the table. She had a hopeful look in her eyes, and Yosuke’s stomach sank even as she started to speak.

“Hanamura-kun? Can I, um… talk to you? In private?”

* * *

There hadn’t even been a question as to whether or not he was going to turn her down, but seeing her sad expression still made him feel like a jerk; he knew that it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t care about her, but he also knew what it was like to care about someone who didn’t have the same feelings that you did. Sighing, he pushed himself away from the tree they’d gone behind to talk; as he started to walk back to the group area, he ran into Ai.

“I see that you turned Miyako down. I thought you and Souji weren’t dating any more?”

Yosuke didn’t hate Ai - not any more. There had been a time the year before when he’d thought Souji and Ai were dating, but that had been a misunderstanding, and Ai had become a much reasonable person in the months that followed. They weren’t _friends_ , but they got along well enough. Still, he didn’t want to have this conversation right now; sighing, he shook his head.

“That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change my feelings.”

A sympathetic expression crossed her face, but she shook her head. “Yosuke. I know it sucks, I know it’s hard, but it was just a breakup. People have been getting over those for… forever. It’s been _months_ , Yosuke. You can’t keep doing this to yourself! I know your friends are worried.”

Her words struck him like salt on an open wound, and it took everything he had not to yell at her as he took a deep breath. “‘Just a breakup’? If it’s ‘just a breakup’, then why does it hurt _so much?_ Why do I dream about him every night? _Why does it feel like I’m missing a part of myself?_ ” He rubbed his forehead as Ai winced. “I know you mean well, but it’s _not_ ‘just a breakup.’ I _lost_ him, Ai. We were happy, neither of us wanted the relationship to end, but I _lost_ him anyway! I miss him, I want him back, I’m not _whole_ without him, I-” He put his arm over his mouth, trying to muffle his voice before he started to sob. “I can’t- I _can’t_ -”

Turning, he hurried away; Ai watched him go with an expression of sorrow and guilt in her eyes.

* * *

Back at the tent, Souji couldn’t help feeling worried when he came back to find Yosuke gone; the brunette finally returned, but he looked tired and peaked. Souji bit his lip.

“Are you okay? Was there something wrong with the food? Do I need to get one of the teachers?”

Yosuke gave him a weak smile, shaking his head. “Nah, dude, I think I just overdid it today. I just got back from taking some pain pills and I’m gonna- I’m gonna lay down now.”

“Oh, of course. They’re starting to call curfew, anyway, so I’ll just turn in, too.” Souji followed Yosuke into the tent; it was big enough for the two of them to each have enough space, even if the ground wasn’t exactly comfortable, so Souji just unrolled his sleeping bag as Yosuke handled his own, and within a quarter of an hour their lamp was out and both boys were curled up on their respective sides. 

Sleep never came easily to Souji, but with Yosuke _so_ close, and his worries over the brunette’s health - not to mention the uncomfortable ground on which they were lying - the silver-haired boy tossed and turned without much luck at getting to sleep. The tent was silent, and Souji was just reaching for his bag to dig out his earphones when he heard a quiet sound coming from Yosuke’s side of the tent. 

Pausing, he held his breath; it took a moment or two, but eventually he realised that it was Yosuke, and _Yosuke was crying_ , and the sound broke Souji’s heart. Clenching his fist around the strap of his overnight bag, he had to take a deep breath; he didn’t know what was wrong, but he found himself having to resist the urge to crawl over and wrap his arms around the brunette and hold him close. 

_He sounds so_ sad _… I wish I could make him smile, take away the pain. Oh,_ Yosuke _… I know it would weird you out, but I just want you to be happy, I want to fix whatever is making you sad. If I could even say something! I just… don’t have that ability, or that right._

It was a long time before he went to sleep, and his dreams were filled with Yosuke far more than he knew was reasonable for someone who was only his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was almost completely angst, so if you need something to make you feel better, have a [domestic fluff SouYo snippet](http://ohlookashinysquirrel.tumblr.com/post/152621246237/lazy-day-souyo-fluff-snip).


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 6 of Please Remember Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kittens? Check. Angst? Check. Two guys that really should just talk to each other but both have valid reasons not to? Check.

That summer was a long one. On one hand, Yosuke appreciated the fact that not only did they not have to worry about the murders any longer, but Souji was _with_ them, and they didn’t have to worry about him having to leave when school started back; but on the other hand, long days where things were always just a _little_ awkward - both because you can’t _talk_ about half of your shared experiences, and because you’re head over heels in love with your best friend, who has no idea and is indifferent to your feelings - made for an anticlimactic vacation. 

To be fair, spending time with Souji, even with his missing memories, even without the soft intimacy that went with them, was better than most of the other alternatives the brunette could think of. It hadn’t escaped his notice, however, that Souji seemed listless; when Yosuke asked what was wrong, the silver-haired boy just shook his head and said that he’d been having nightmares, but he didn’t seem inclined to talk about them. 

One afternoon, Yosuke decided that they needed a change of pace, and there was only one place in Inaba that was actually comfortable when it was hot.

“Let’s go hang out on the floodplain. I think we’ve been spending too much time inside, you’re even paler than usual.” 

Souji - who’d been having the same recurring dreams about the robotic creature in a long coat that he’d had his first night after getting out of the hospital - gave the brunette a smile that was only partly forced. “Look who’s talking, you’ve almost lost your freckles.”

“Mmm, and whose fault is that?” Yosuke smiled, but when Souji started to frown, he winced inwardly. “You know I’m teasing you, Souj. You seem really tired, though, and I think it’ll do you good to get out. You’ve been stressing out again, haven’t you?”

Souji sighed, looking guilty. “...yeah, I guess I have. Sorry, Yosuke. You’re right, the riverbank sounds good. I’ll make some lunch.” He still hadn’t told Yosuke about the dreams, but by this point, he was certain they were just a byproduct of his amnesia. Besides, they didn’t _mean_ anything.

“Awesome!” Forcing a smile - hating the fact that Souji was still stressing himself out over his memories, even if it was understandable, and there was nothing anyone else could do to help - the brunette jumped up. “I’ll help, let’s have sandwiches - I make a mean egg salad.”

“All right.” Souji smiled a little at this - the corners of his eyes had started to crinkle again when he talked to Yosuke, and it took Yosuke’s breath away every time they did - and they headed downstairs.

* * *

An hour later found them walking down the steps to the riverbank; the sky was bright blue, with only a few clouds, and there was a breeze down by the water. Souji took a deep breath; Yosuke had been right - as was to be expected, Yosuke was _always_ right - and being outside made him feel a little better, a little more awake. 

They’d just settled in with a sandwich each when they heard a faint cheeping sound; Souji perked up almost immediately - which, in itself, warned Yosuke about what was on its way - and sure enough, a roly-poly orange tabby popped her head over the steps, chirped at them, and then meandered towards the duo. Souji had just reached out his hand to offer pets - the cat was one of the floodplain regulars that they’d nicknamed Mikan, as she was just just as round and orange as the fruit - when he realised that Mikan was not alone. She was followed by two pyramid-tailed, wobbly-legged kittens - the source of the cheeping noises - and Souji caught his breath, eyes widening, when he saw them.

“Oh my _gosh_ , Yosuke, look!” 

The brunette chuckled, and although Souji spared a second to enjoy the sound, the silver-haired boy was too focused on the fluffballs to do anything other than hold out his hands.

“May I?” He addressed this to the mother cat, who merely wandered up, head-butted his knee, and then started to sniff the picnic basket; Souji, meanwhile, reached down to gently lift up one of the kittens. It was _so_ soft, and _so_ warm, and so… _cute_ … that he couldn’t stand it; carefully cradling it, he started to rub the back of its neck, and it just meeped at him before starting to purr. 

“Oh, man.” The brunette chuckled. “You’re, like, the cat whisperer, aren’t you?”

Yosuke, meanwhile, had reached for the other; it seemed a little more feisty than its sibling, and although the brunette started out trying to hold it as Souji was holding his, the kitten decided that it would rather climb his shirt and make a brave and daring hike up to his shoulder. Laughing, the brunette angled his head and held out his arm so that the kitten had a place to sit; it sniffed along his ear and hair, and its whiskers must have tickled, because Yosuke laughed harder, one eye closed in a squint. He was too focused on taking care of the kitten to look at Souji; the silver-haired boy appreciated this, as he found himself unable to stop staring at the brunette.

 _Oh. Oh no. It’s- I can’t- it’s hopeless. I’m in love with Yosuke, I love him_ so _much, how can anybody be_ that _cute and perfect? What am I going to do? Dammit, Yosuke, why do you have to be_ so _amazing?_

He was startled from his reverie by a paw on his nose; he realised that he’d been holding the kitten close, burying his face in its fur, and while the kitten didn't seem uncomfortable, it _had_ decided that Souji’s face was its new toy, and was batting at his hair. He smiled at it - a soft, sad smile - and scratched its nose. 

“They’re adorable, Mikan. But I think you’d rather I give you a concrete token of appreciation, wouldn’t you?” Chuckling at the tabby, who was rubbing her face against the corner of the picnic basket and batting at its handles, he reached in to bring out a can of cat food - he always brought one whenever they came out to the river. Cracking it open, he dumped the contents onto a paper plate, setting it a little ways away from their picnic spot; the kittens both started squirming at this - Yosuke’s almost took a dive off his shoulder, but he caught it just in time - and soon all three cats were eating hungrily. Yosuke laughed, leaning over to gently poke the kittens’ tiny tails, which were vibrating furiously as they inhaled their food; Souji watched quietly, taking a deep breath in an attempt to hide his recent revelation.

He busied himself with setting out the rest of the food, while Yosuke returned to his sandwich; biting into a riceball, Souji sighed to himself, staring at the plum nestled inside the rice. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been fighting his feelings for Yosuke for some time now - months, at least, and longer if he really took the time to examine the weeks after he’d gotten out of the hospital - but that was only one of the many problems. 

_Yosuke’s my_ best friend. _He’s doing all this to help me_ because _we’re friends, and I’m taking it too far, falling in love with him. And I don’t even know my past, not here! I knew a lot of people - what if I was dating someone?_

To be fair, he knew that the brunette would have _told_ him if he had been - as long as Yosuke had known about it himself - and while there was still the small chance that Yosuke _hadn’t_ been in on the loop, Souji doubted it; he got the impression that the two of them hadn’t hidden anything from each other.

 _But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like someone. What happens if-_ Here, he had to take a deep breath. _What happens if I do get my memories back, only to find that I had feelings for someone else? What if- what if those feelings_ change _how I feel about Yosuke?_

The thought physically _hurt_. The idea that he could wake up the next day and be in love with Ai Ebihara or Kou Ichijo or any one of their other friends and _not_ Yosuke was second only to losing the brunette completely on the scale of the most heartbreaking things he’d ever imagined.

Just then, a voice broke through his mournful thoughts.

“Oh _no you don’t!_ Don’t look at me, I’m not your food source, go somewhere-ahhh, no! That’s _my_ croquette, dammit!” 

Souji looked up from the riceball he’d been staring at to see Yosuke holding a kitten at arms’ length in one hand, his beef croquette in the other; the kitten was mewing, and the brunette was scowling, and Mikan was sitting at Souji’s foot, grooming her other kitten, and not caring one bit. The silver-haired boy couldn’t help it; he gave a small smile and reached his hands out. “I’ll take the kitten.”

“Please.” Yosuke _looked_ aggravated, but the corners of his mouth were also twitching as he handed Souji the ball of fluff, and although the kitten complained, Souji gently petted it until it calmed down, then handed it back to its mother, who started to bathe it, as well. Shaking his head to get rid of his troubling thoughts, Souji put them aside for now; Yosuke had invited him out to the river for a picnic, and he was going to do what he could to enjoy it. 

* * *

That didn’t keep Souji from thinking about it almost non-stop when he was alone - and most of the rest of the time, although he managed to keep his expressions manageable when he was hanging out with Yosuke. Finally, one day, he found himself sitting at Junes with Yukiko; Chie was home sick that day, Yosuke and Teddie were wrapping up a shift, and they were waiting for the others to arrive, so it was just the two of them. 

After a few minutes, he looked over at the black-haired girl; she was smiling gently at her phone, and he took a deep breath. _Yukiko seems like she’s the kindest person in our group; maybe… maybe I can ask her a few things without it seeming too weird_.

“Hey, Yukiko?”

“What’s up, Souji-kun?”

“Um…” Now that she was paying attention to him, he found it even harder to figure out what he wanted to say, but he took another deep breath. “I… was wondering something. Yosuke, um-”

It seemed like her focus sharpened a little when he said the brunette’s name; her smile had not changed, however, so he decided he must have been imagining it. She was listening patiently, and he didn’t want to be rude, so he forced himself to continue. “I just noticed… Yosuke always seems kind of… sad. I was just wondering if- if he lost somebody he cared about? Or if he had a bad breakup, I don’t know.”

He wasn’t prepared to see Yukiko’s face fall at this; for a second she looked almost as sad as Yosuke, and the sight made Souji’s stomach squeeze - whatever it was must have been bad, or tragic, and he braced himself. 

“Oh, Souji-kun…” She sighed softly; her voice was soft, too, and it sounded sad. “It’s… yeah. Something like that. But Yosuke- Yosuke-kun should really be the one to tell you about it; it’s not right for the rest of us to gossip.” She searched his face. “He hasn’t said anything about it, has he?”

Feeling a numb knot in his stomach, Souji shook his head mutely; Yukiko sighed at this. “I see. Don’t feel bad if he doesn’t mention it, okay? It’s not you, I _promise_ it’s not you, it’s just… really hard for him.”

 _Don’t ask what you don't want to have answered._ The feeling of sorrow and ache inside Souji’s chest was so strong that for a moment he had to close his eyes; Yukiko sat next to him, quietly, and he was grateful, if only for the fact that he’d picked someone who wasn’t going to pry. Just as he’d finally gotten his heartbreak under control, he heard familiar footsteps; opening his eyes, he saw Yosuke hurrying towards them with a spring in his step and bright eyes. The brunette’s smile called a small, answering smile to Souji’s lips - he couldn’t _help_ it - but deep inside, he couldn’t stop the pain.

* * *

It was only a few days later that Rise cornered Yosuke to ask _him_ about Souji. The silver-haired boy was busy with his uncle and cousin, and Yosuke was working; he came out to the food court on one of his breaks to find the redhead sitting there, reading a magazine.

“Yosuke-senpaiii~”

“Hey, Rise.”

She pushed the seat across the table out with a foot, and he took the hint, sitting down; when he did, she closed her magazine and leaned forward, a sparkle in her eyes. 

“Soooooo?”

Raising an eyebrow, he looked at her warily, wondering what he was missing. “Sooooooo... what?”

“Ugh!” She looked exasperated. “Souji-senpai! When are you going to ask him out? We’re all friends again, you two are _best_ friends again, and you can’t keep waiting for him to remember his past! I know you’re still head-over-heels for him, so when are you going to _go_ for it?”

 _Of course it’s about this_. He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Rise… it’s not that easy, you know? Our relationship is different than it used to be - he looks up to me now, he’s grateful to me, and me trying to take advantage of that would be horrible.”

“But it might not be taking advantage! He never seems happier than when you guys are together!”

“So? I mean, he tells me how grateful he is to have me with him and how much I help him. And you _know_ Souji! Even before he lost his memories he did everything he could to make other people happy; he’s even more that way, now, and if I asked him out I would never know whether he did it out of obligation or because he really liked me.” The brunette bit his lip. “Even if he _did_ like me, it would be… weird… to date without him knowing that we used to be in a relationship.”

“So tell him?” The redhead looked frustrated.

“Again, you know Souji! If he didn’t like me, he’d still feel guilty and try to force himself to feel it, or it could make him feel weird and… ugh. What if it made things weird between us? I’d lose him _again_ , and he’d lose the comfort he takes in our friendship.” Sighing, he shook his head. “Look, nobody wants us to be together again more than I do, but it’s just… it’s not going to work. Not in any way I can see. Friends... is going to have to be enough.”

His voice cracked a little at this last sentence, and Rise flopped back in her chair, a frown on her face. “It’s not _fair_ , Yosuke-senpai!”

“Yeah.” The word was an exhale. “Yeah, I know. You don’t need to tell me.”

* * *

Finally the summer wound towards a close, and it was time again for the shrine festival. Yosuke _really_ didn't want to go - the memories of Souji confessing behind the shrine, of watching the fireworks together hand-in-hand, of their first kiss were so heavy they almost overwhelmed the brunette - but he knew he wouldn't be able to avoid it; Souji seemed to be looking forward to it, as were the others.

He was grateful, at least, to see Souji dressed in casual clothes when he met up with the group outside the shrine gates. The silver-haired boy had worn a yukata the year before, and it had been unfair how good-looking it had been; Yosuke had already had to quash more than one daydream of Souji confessing again in the days leading up to the festival, and another yukata wouldn’t have been fair. 

At least Souji seemed to enjoy himself. He was interested in everything, saying that the festivals he’d been to in Tokyo had felt different, being in such a large city; they walked around together - Chie and Yukiko had gone off, as had Kanji and Naoto, and the brunette suspected that Rise had hauled Teddie off somewhere in an attempt to give the two of them time alone together - and although he knew that her hopes were for nothing, he was at least determined to have as much fun as he could.

* * *

Souji found himself enjoying the festival, as well. There was something a little breathless about walking around with Yosuke, by themselves - but then he was finding that there was _always_ something a little breathless about being alone with Yosuke, now that he’d realised that he was in love with the brunette.

Still, Yosuke seemed to have taken their earlier discussion to heart, and when Souji asked him what he wanted to do first, he just grinned. “We gotta get yakisoba and orange shaved ice, of course! And then we gotta play games, see if we can win something for Nanako. Come on!” 

Smiling, Souji let Yosuke lead him around; he was glad to see that the brunette was having fun, as he’d been seeing the sad expression more and more often, it seemed, and that hurt him for too many reasons to count. They stuffed themselves on festival food, wrapping up with shaved ice - orange for Yosuke, and melon for Souji - and then they set out to win as many games as they could.

By the time the sun began to set, Souji was carrying a large stuffed cat for Nanako and Yosuke had a fox mask hanging on the back of his head; they both carried cotton candy bags, and they both looked victorious, if tired. 

“Welp, we’ve got just enough time to stop by the shrine before it’s time for the fireworks. You still up for more?”

Souji smiled at how happy Yosuke looked. “Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t want to miss the wish, anyway - I’ve heard good things about this shrine, that it actually grants people's wishes.”

A strange expression flitted across the brunette’s face, but it was gone before Souji could really note it; he just smiled cheerfully and put a hand on the silver-haired boy’s shoulder. “Never know, right?”

They made their way to the little shrine, setting their haul on a side bench before heading up; taking turns ringing the bell, Souji clapped his hands together.

_Please. Please, if anyone is listening, help me remember. Help me remember everything, no matter how bad it is - but especially help me remember Yosuke. And if I can’t remember, help me become somebody who can help him, who can support him. I know he’s sad, and that’s.. not my business, but help me at least find a way to make him smile again some day._

Looking up, he found that Yosuke had just finished his wish, as well; there was a serious, earnest look on the brunette’s face that made Souji’s heart skip a beat. After a moment, the smile was back; Yosuke turned to Souji and nodded, and they grabbed their prizes, heading for the open area where Yosuke said they all usually watched the fireworks.

Most of the group was already there; with darkness falling and lamplight dancing around them, Souji found himself glad for the additional company. Being alone with Yosuke in such a situation, he felt, was dangerous; he might end up saying more than he wanted to, and that was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. 

It wasn’t long before the fireworks started; they were beautiful, bright splashes of spark and colour against the dark sky, and Souji had to catch his breath as he watched them. After a time, he turned his head to look at Yosuke; the brunette was watching the display with the same expression on his face that Souji knew he had on his own, and there was something about seeing the fiery comets streaking upwards, reflected in Yosuke’s eyes, that made it hard to breathe.

That was the moment that Souji realised that it didn’t _matter_ if he had his memories or not. _Regaining my memories doesn’t mean my emotions will change. Even if I did love someone else, there’s no way that feeling can replace this; if I wake up tomorrow and remember everyone, I’ll_ still _be in love with Yosuke. I don’t know how I could ever love anyone else._

In a way, it was almost a relief; he’d already realised that he was too head-over-heels for Yosuke to be able to turn back, or get over the brunette. This just meant he didn’t feel guilty about it, any more; it didn’t answer the question of what he was going to _do_ about it - although given his conversation with Yukiko, he was pretty sure that the answer was ‘nothing’ - but at least it meant that he could accept his feelings, even if they were never going to be returned.


	7. Chapter 7

School resumed, and with it came cooler weather and shorter days. The group never talked about Souji’s missing memories, any more; while it wasn’t that anyone had _forgotten_ that it had happened, they all seemed to have accepted that it was how it was, and that they were probably gone for good. Naoto still chewed on the mystery from time-to-time, but - as she told Yosuke one afternoon when he was asking her, again, if she could think of _anything_ \- it was harder to do without telling Souji everything, something she was on the fence about. She agreed with the doctors that it might make things worse - it was evident that any time Souji tried to force himself to remember, he ended up giving himself horrific migraines - but given that they were almost certain that his amnesia was related to the TV world and Izanami, she couldn’t be sure that telling him wouldn’t help. As much as Yosuke hated keeping secrets from Souji, however, he was firmly on the side of not telling him, and as the group’s leader, his decision stood. 

Eventually, it was time for the culture festival again. Remembering their disaster with the ‘group dating cafe’ the year before - Souji, when they explained it to him, just gave them a look that said _why would anyone agree to that_ \- the class decided to stay simple; they’d do a street food stand, with rice balls and yakisoba and croquettes and bottled drinks. Souji and Yukiko were part of the cooking committee, Chie was on the sales committee, and Yosuke ended up being part of the logistics committee in charge of setting up and tearing down the stall. 

Thus it was that Souji, Yukiko, and Chie were finished before the brunette; they offered to wait for him to tour the rest of the school, but he told them to go ahead, he’d catch up with them eventually. Rise joined them, as well; Naoto was busy with their class’s murder mystery room, and Kanji, of course, was helping her. 

For the most part, the group wandered. They’d occasionally run into someone and chat for a little bit - Ai tried to get them to go into 3-1’s fashion cafe, but they managed to dodge a bullet and get away while she was busy with customers. Rise was _determined_ to get her fortune told - she tried to get Souji to do it, too, but he didn’t really feel comfortable with the idea. 

The group was standing in the long hallway, waiting for the redhead, browsing the stalls - there were, apparently, vendors that were there every year, selling odds-and-ends, trinkets, and the like - and although Souji wasn’t looking to buy anything, a particular display caught his eye. Leaning over, he saw that there were rings in the case; they were all sterling silver, with a handful of different designs, and one design was a hammered silver band with a wave-like pattern pressed along the lower edge. Stopping, Souji looked down at his hand; the rings matched.

“What did you find, Souji-kun?” Yukiko walked over. 

“These rings.” Souji was looking back and forth between his hand and the case. “It’s the same.”

“Yeah, this is where Yosuke-kun got your ring last year. It was really cute, and-”

Chie, who was standing beside her girlfriend, grabbed her shoulder with a panicked expression. “ _Yukiko! Quiet!_ ” The black-haired girl stopped, putting a hand over her mouth with an alarmed expression, but it was too late; Souji had heard her words, and his mind was already spinning into overdrive.

_Yosuke bought me this ring._

_People don’t randomly buy rings for their best friends, right?_

_Guys especially don’t randomly buy rings for their best friends._

_Oh my god._

Eyes wide, ignoring the dull throbbing that had started behind his right eye, he stared at the girls; they stared back at him, alarmed expressions on their faces, and Souji took a deep breath.

“ _Why_ did Yosuke buy me one of these rings?”

“I-”

“He-”

Both girls started at the same time, but then stopped; they looked at each other, and Yukiko shook her head. “You- you should ask Yosuke-kun about that, Souji-kun. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything…” Her voice was small, and Chie sighed heavily next to her; normally, Souji would have felt bad for alarming Yukiko like that, but right now his head was spinning.

_Yosuke. Yosuke and I? Were we?_

Without another word, he looked up and down the hall; there was no sign of the brunette yet, so he sprinted off, heading for the stairs that lead up to the third floor. Both of the third-year events were closed by this point, so the hall was mostly empty; Souji hurried into 3-2 praying that Yosuke would be alone.

He was out of luck. The brunette was in the middle of taking down the backdrop along with a handful of others; when Souji rushed in, however, a worried look crossed his face, and Yosuke hurried over as soon as they’d laid the large piece of plywood and cloth down across the desks. 

“Souji! What’s wrong?”

The silver-haired boy had meant to have the answer, then and there, but with so many people around he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Looking around, he bit his lip, then looked down at the floor. “I- I’ll come back. I just… need to talk to you, and…”

Yosuke frowned, about to say something, but one of the girls who was helping pull up the painted cloth background spoke up.

“Go ahead, Hanamura-kun. You planned most of this, we can take the rest from here.” There were a few murmurs of agreement; Yosuke nodded, looking both worried and grateful, and he turned back to Souji. 

“Okay, then. Let’s go somewhere. Is school okay, or do we need to head home, or-?”

Souji already felt embarrassed, like he was making a big deal out of something he _could not believe_ to be true, but he’d already started and it would be even worse if he tried to play it off now. Shaking his head, he jerked his head towards the stairs.

“The roof is, uh, fine. As long as it’s empty.”

“Okay.” It was clear that Yosuke was worried, but it was also clear that he had no idea what Souji was going to ask him; he just nodded and followed Souji out, and soon the two of them were on the roof. Once they’d gotten a little way away from the door, he stopped. “What’s wrong, Souji? What’s going on?”

Now that it was time for him to ask, Souji found himself _terrified._ His head was screaming at him, and his hands were trembling, and he was _certain_ he’d missed some crucial concept or fact, but he’d come too far to back out now. Clenching his fists, he took a deep breath.

“I was just downstairs, and there was a stall, and they were selling silver rings.” He watched the brunette as he said this; it wasn’t his imagination that Yosuke turned pale. “I asked, and before Yukiko could think about what she was saying, she told me that you bought me this ring last year. Yosuke… why?”

The look on Yosuke’s face was equal parts terrified and miserable, and Souji found himself holding his breath. _That’s not- that’s not somebody who’s just going to laugh the whole thing off_. He bit his lip as the brunette looked down at his hands.

“Ugh. _Dammit_. I…” He took another deep breath, and Souji found himself gripping the links of the wire fence behind him. “I… we were dating. I bought you that ring as a gift, an unofficial promise ring.”

At the words ‘we were dating,’ Souji staggered, though he managed to catch himself on the fence. _Oh my god._ He couldn’t even put into thoughts what all of it meant; looking at his hands, he realised they were shaking. “You… and me? We were dating? I don’t-”

“I know you don’t remember it.” Yosuke sounded sad and small. “I know you don’t feel that way now. It’s why I didn’t tell you, because I _know_ you, Souji. You’d think that you owed it to me to continue, even without your memories, even without your feelings, and that would kill you, and I don’t want you to be with me because you feel you have to, I-”

His voice was trembling, and he sounded so _sad_ that Souji found himself standing a little taller. “Yosuke.” He cut the brunette off with a rough voice. “Yosuke… I don’t remember. But that doesn’t mean- _I love you_ , Yosuke. But you’ve always been so _sad_ , and I thought you lost someone you loved, or had a bad breakup, and-”

He stopped as the realisation hit that the love lost - the breakup - was _him_ , and he put a hand over his mouth. “Oh no- oh _no_ , Yosuke, I’m so sorry.”

Meanwhile, there was an expression of stunned hope on the brunette’s face. He put his hands out for a moment, then dropped them back to his sides, as if unsure of what to do; disbelief was etched across his face as he took a step towards Souji. “No, I- don’t apologise, Souji. None of this has ever been your fault. But did- did you just say… did you just say you _love_ me?”

“Yes.” Souji’s voice was small, and he looked scared, but he also looked hopeful. “At first, I thought I just depended on you, and I wasn’t going to read something into what I felt was just a good friendship, and the fact that I needed you for… for _everything_ scared me, I didn’t want to confuse my feelings of gratitude with my feelings of… attraction. But then we got closer, and you were always so sad, and I just wanted to make you smile, and then when you _did_ smile I just couldn’t look away. I _hate_ that I don’t remember, especially now that I know we were together, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love you, Yosuke.”

“Oh god.” The brunette covered his face, shoulders heaving; he hiccupped a sob and Souji, hesitating, stepped forward. When he did, Yosuke looked up. “Then, can we- god, Souji, I love you _so much_. Can we be together again?”

“I think so?” Souji took a deep breath. He still felt like he was barely treading water in an unfamiliar ocean, but he also knew that if anyone could help him navigate it, Yosuke could - and he _loved_ the brunette; of that, he was certain. “Yes. I don’t know how easy it’s going to be, but I want to try.”

At this, Yosuke looked at him with shining eyes that were so happy that they took the silver-haired boy’s breath away; the brunette held open his arms, and Souji rushed into them, burying his face against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

* * *

Yosuke, meanwhile, was certain he was in a dream - and was just as certain that he never wanted to wake up.  Souji was _in his arms_ , and he said he _loved_ the brunette, and it was a thousand times better than the first confession at the summer festival - although he’d never want to trade either of them. Carefully, he wrapped his arms more tightly around Souji - _his boyfriend_ \- and pulled him close; the silver-haired boy was shaking a little, and he seemed so scared and insecure, but he had his hands balled in Yosuke’s school jacket and was holding on with an earnestness that said that of all the facts he was unsure about, his feelings for Yosuke weren’t one of them. Sighing happily, Yosuke rested his cheek against the top of Souji’s head. 

“Are you okay?” His voice was quiet; he didn’t want to startle Souji.

After a moment, Souji nodded. “Yeah. It’s scary. I… feel like I should be remembering things and I’m _not_. But… I’ll make it work.”

“ _We’ll_ make it work.” The brunette corrected him, and Souji pulled back a little; when he looked up, Yosuke caught his breath. Seeing Souji so close, with such a loving, _trusting_ look in his eyes made every cell in Yosuke’s body ache; he wanted nothing more than to take his boyfriend home, to pin him down to the couch and rediscover every inch of his body, but he also _remembered_ \- and Souji didn’t. This of _all_ things was something he _could not_ rush. Inhaling shakily, he put a hand to the silver-haired boy’s cheek and leaned in.

* * *

When Yosuke reassured him that they’d both work on Souji’s amnesia together, Souji felt a small worry lift from his shoulders; just because they were together didn’t mean they’d stop trying to find the answer.

He was glad, of course, that Yosuke loved him. No, glad wasn’t even the right word; he was stunned, and amazed, and he hadn’t thought it was _possible_ to feel so happy. He was so happy that, for a moment, he forgot the emptiness of his missing memories.

As he looked up at the brunette, Yosuke gave him a soft smile; it was enough to send butterflies through his stomach, and when Yosuke leaned in, Souji held onto him more tightly. To him, it was their first kiss; the initial light brush of lips made him shiver, and then Yosuke pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Within moments, it was a deep, heady communion, and Souji had to cling to Yosuke’s arm to keep from being swept away; it was so intense that it almost scared him. 

For all that it was amazing, that it made his head spin and his heart sing, he couldn’t quite hide the tiny thought that Yosuke’s kiss was so hungry that he seemed desperate. It stood to reason; he’d been waiting for Souji for nearly eight months, and to him this was a return to the way things _should_ be. 

To Souji, however, it highlighted the fact that there was so much between them - but he remembered none of it. It almost scared him; Yosuke needed him, but how was he going to live up to a relationship he didn’t remember? What if he couldn’t give Yosuke enough because he had no connection to their past, no memory of what they’d had before?

_It doesn’t matter_. He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around the brunette’s neck as his boyfriend held him close, arms circling his waist. _I want to give Yosuke everything - all that I have, all that I am, all that he wants. I love him so much… I’ll_ make _this work, whatever it takes._

* * *

A few weeks later, he was less certain.

It wasn’t that he loved Yosuke any less, or that he didn’t want to be with the brunette. On the contrary, he was so happy at times that it scared him - because he felt unanchored, as if he was sailing without a map. It wasn’t that the brunette wanted more from him than he was willing to give, either. No, Yosuke had been more than accommodating; he respected Souji’s need to take things slow, he never suggested anything the silver-haired boy wasn’t ready for, and he never looked irritated or annoyed if Souji started feeling anxious in the middle of a makeout session, or on one of their dates. 

No, it was because there was still a hole inside him, in his memories and in his soul, and all of the love and adoration he felt for Yosuke was not enough to cover it. It wasn’t _Yosuke’s_ fault, of course - there were times that the brunette was _so_ understanding, and _so_ giving that it made Souji feel even guiltier. But for all of the support, all of the love, he couldn’t stop feeling worried. 

The headaches were the worst. He’d always had them - at least, since he’d woken up in the hospital - because he couldn’t help trying, from time-to-time, to remember things. Sometimes, they would even happen unprompted - usually, he assumed, when something happened that he _should_ remember, but couldn’t. Now, however, they were coming at an almost alarming rate. Part of it, he expected; he was in a romantic relationship with someone he’d loved for two years - who he’d been dating when he lost his memories - so of course he’d have strong feelings and memories trying to break free. Part of it, he knew was his own fault; he found himself constantly feeling like he needed _more_ \- needed to be more, have more, remember more, give more - and that just made it worse. 

But that was the problem. For all that Yosuke didn’t expect anything, didn’t ask for anything, just seemed happy to be together, Souji _wasn’t_. It made sense - Yosuke wasn’t the one missing a year’s worth of memories, half of which happened to be about the love of his life - but it didn’t stop Souji from feeling empty every time he thought about the fact that he’d _lost_ a year of his life with Yosuke. He didn’t want to lose Yosuke - but he couldn’t help feeling like he needed _more_. He _needed_ to remember. 

Yosuke, of course, was amazing. He’d quickly learned to sense when Souji was feeling anxious or restless, and he’d rein himself in, or steer their discussion or actions to something more comfortable. Time and again he’d pull the silver-haired boy close and lightly press their foreheads together, whispering that it was okay, that he’d give Souji as long as he needed, even if he needed forever. That helped - it was usually enough to calm his anxiety and soothe his frustration, at least for a while - but the fact that it kept happening worried Souji to no end.

He couldn’t help feeling like he was letting Yosuke down - even when he knew, logically, that he wasn’t - and it was a terrible, terrible feeling.

* * *

One afternoon, the group was hanging out at Junes when Naoto looked across the table at Souji, who was sitting next to Yosuke, the brunette’s arm around his shoulder. He’d been sleeping restlessly - he was still having the strange, recurring dreams about the televisions and the robot - and his head hurt, yet again. Frowning, the detective leaned forward.

“You look really pale, Souji-senpai. Have you been sleeping well?”

“Not exactly.” Souji rubbed his face. “I have a lot of bad dreams, I guess you could say. And I’ve got a headache. That’s my fault, though; I just keep trying to remember, and when I do, it hurts - but I _need_ to remember, so I’ll just put up with it.”

Naoto shot a glance at Yosuke, who shook his head minutely. He was worried, too; it hadn’t escaped his notice that Souji was almost always peaked and wan, and was suffering from headaches almost every day. He felt guilty about it - it wasn’t hard to recognise that it was because Souji felt insecure and worried about their relationship - but the brunette couldn’t stop the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that, although they needed to _fix_ this, breaking up wasn’t the best option. He just hoped that it wasn’t his own wants talking.

The detective mused quietly for a moment, and when she looked up with a serious expression on her face, Yosuke found himself feeling uneasy. She looked back and forth between the two.

“I… hate to even suggest this, but… Souji-senpai… maybe being with Yosuke isn’t _good_ for you? It’s taking a toll on your health and for what? You haven’t regained your memories, and-”

“I refuse to believe that.” Souji sat up, and his tone of voice was fierce enough to even startle Yosuke. “And even if it is, I don’t _care_. I love Yosuke, and I’m not going to stop trying. Our relationship matters too much for me to let this go - I’m _tired_ of letting this… this _thing_ , this amnesia, come between us!”

“But surely you can put it aside? I’m not saying you need to ignore it, or stop trying to remember, but… isn’t it worth focusing on the present, not so much on the past?” Naoto’s tone was hesitant, and Souji rubbed his forehead.

“I… get what you’re saying, Naoto. I’m sorry if I snapped at you. But you don’t _get_ it. I can’t just… _ignore_ … an entire missing year. I get that it was _just_ a year, but… I don’t want to give up on the time that we had together. It’s for Yosuke, yes, but it’s the time that we _all_ had together. Even if I _wanted_ to stop thinking about it, I can’t - it’s always there, always looming, always an empty ache in the back of my head. I-” Shaking his head, he stood up. “I’m sorry, I really should go.  My head hurts, and I just… I need to be alone.” 

The silver-haired boy hurried away from the table, and when he did, Yosuke jumped up and ran after him. “Souji! Souji, wait up!”

The brunette was relieved when his boyfriend stopped immediately - he’d been afraid that Souji had been mad at him, or that he was having second thoughts, but his boyfriend just turned to him with a sad, tired expression. 

“I’m sorry, Yosuke. I didn’t mean to just run away from you, I-”

“I know.” Yosuke nodded, holding out his arms; Souji sighed, moving into them for a hug, and Yosuke kissed his forehead. “I’m as worried as Naoto is, you know? But I also understand why you need to find your memories. I just wish I knew how to help you.” 

“It’s _okay_ , Yosuke. Really. It’s not your fault, and I’m just glad you’re here. And I’m sorry that I’m a piece of work that you constantly have to reassure.”

“Don’t say that, Souji. I love you, you know that, and I’m here for you. However long it takes - and I mean that.” Taking his boyfriend’s hand, he put it against his own cheek for a moment, then turned his head and kissed Souji’s palm, noting with some relief that Souji seemed to have calmed down a little. "Go home, drink some tea, get some sleep. I’m sorry I can’t see you home-”

“It’s okay.” Souji’s voice was soft, and although it was still sad, there was a small smile on his lips as he moved his hand of his own accord to caress Yosuke’s jaw. “I know you have to work in a little bit. I’ll be fine, you know? Will you text me tonight?”

“Of course I will. And we’ll hang out tomorrow, I have to work in the morning but I’ll be free in the afternoon.”

“All right. I love you, Yosuke.” 

“I love you, too, Souji.” He kissed his boyfriend softly, hugging him tightly once more before letting him go; Souji gave him a small smile, and then turned and headed for the exit.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 8 of Please Remember Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd planned to get to the resolution this chapter, but my outline was a lot more compact than I expected it to be, so that'll have to be next chapter. Enjoy ^^

When Yosuke returned to the table, he found the others talking earnestly and quietly. Raising an eyebrow, he sat back down; when he did, Naoto looked over.

“Yosuke-senpai. We were discussing Souji-senpai’s amnesia. I think we really have to get to the bottom of this, and as soon as possible; we either need to determine if it’s related to the TV world and Izanami, or if it’s natural, he should start talking to a therapist.” When Yosuke sighed and nodded at this last line, she continued. “To be honest, though, I still believe it’s tied to Izanami. Part of what Souji said started me thinking.” She looked around the table. “He said, ‘It’s for Yosuke, yes, but it’s the time we _all_ had together.’” 

The brunette raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t Izanami say something about bonds before she did that creepy ‘turn-to-dust’ disappearing act? Something about…” He chewed his lip. “‘The power of your _bonds_ ’ and then something about ‘seeing how they’ll serve in the future.’”

“'Hereafter', but yes. That’s exactly it, senpai. And then she said ‘farewell, Izanagi-no-Okami’, with emphasis on Izanagi’s name. Given that Souji has lost every memory related to not only _us_ , but also the others with whom he established ‘bonds’-” she made air quotes “-including Dojima-san, Nanako, Ai, Kou, Yumi, and everyone else he was particularly close to over the last year, I believe that Izanami knew that this was going to happen.”

The brunette frowned, looking upset. “So you’re saying it was what, a last-ditch curse or something?”

“But! We killed her, how can we fix it now?” Rise started to sound a little hysterical at this, and Naoto shook her head, laying a hand reassuringly over the redhead’s.

“I don’t think so. I think the truth lies in her last statement - ‘Farewell, Izanagi-no-Okami.’ If we take that as a clue and a key, then the assumption is that Souji-senpai has lost Izanagi, and through Izanagi, all of the memories he made over the year - his bonds.”

Yosuke blinked, looking around; he and Chie caught each other’s eyes, and she frowned. “So… you mean… Souji just lost Izanagi? _How?_ He was like… the most normal one of all of us!” 

Yosuke straightened up at this, eyes widening in realisation. “That’s exactly the problem! Souji never faced his shadow, did he? I mean, we were there when Izanami said whatever she said about granting him this power, right?”

“Exactly!” Naoto almost looked excited; Yosuke wanted to be upset over the fact, but he knew it was just her nature to enjoy unravelling mysteries. “Izanagi was given to Souji-senpai to solve this mystery _by_ Izanami - it stands to reason that when she was gone, then Izanagi would go, too.”

“So Senpai lost his persona? And his memories to go with it? That sucks!” Rise frowned, and Naoto nodded.

“It seems like it, but then it stands to reason that we might be able to fix the situation if-”

“-if we throw Sensei into the TV!” Teddie jumped up, and Kanji immediately grabbed his shoulders, shoving him back onto the bench.

“Will you _cool it_ , Ted? Jeeze! Nobody’s throwin’ Senpai or anybody else into the TV!”

“...but it does sound like we need to figure out how to get Souji in touch with his shadow,” Yosuke said, a troubled expression on his face. “Which means telling him about everything. We just have to figure out how so that we’re not dropping a load of unbelievable stuff onto his shoulders all at once.”

“Will it even work, though?” Yukiko looked as troubled as Yosuke felt. “Izanami is gone. Ted has said that the old places are still there, but didn’t everything change after we left?”

“I guess we’ll just have to see.” Yosuke sighed, rubbing his face. “I gotta work now, guys. Let’s all think about it and then meet up to talk again - I dunno, tomorrow? We’ll figure it out, but I want to try to figure it out the next time we meet, since I don’t want to go behind his back more than we have to.”

Everybody stood up at this, and as Yosuke pushed his chair under the table, it hit something. Looking down, he realised that Souji had left his school bag. Picking it up, he waved Ted over, handing it to him.

“Take this home and put it in my room? I’m gonna tell Souji he left it behind, and I’ll give it to him tomorrow. Just don’t drop it, okay?”

“Okay, Yosuke! Tell Sensei that I hope he feels better!” 

Sighing a little, Yosuke brought out his phone. 

_Souji lost his persona because he never faced his shadow. Man, that’s going to be shitty to deal with, however it happens. We’ll do it, but damn. Do I even want to think about what Souji’s shadow would be like?_ He shook his head. _Well, either way, he faced mine - the least I can do is face his. Especially if it gives me a chance to help him get his memories back._

> hey doin ok? u left ur bag here
> 
> sent it w ted so its in my room

* * *

Drying his hair, Souji stepped into his room - he’d just had a hot shower to try to help his headache - when he saw the light on his phone blinking. Hitting the power button, he saw that it was a text from Yosuke; even through his headache he felt a small smile flit across his lips as he pulled it up. 

When he realised that he’d left his bag, he frowned. _Ugh. I’ve got homework to do._

> Thanks for grabbing it. I need to do homework before we get together tomorrow, though.

> u can come by n y time, ted’ll b home tom morning
> 
> r u can go ovr tonite but u shud sleep

Souji looked at the clock; it was late enough that his uncle really hated him being out, so he reluctantly decided to put it off until the morning. 

> I’ll go by in the morning, then. Thanks, Yosuke. Don’t work too hard.

> ofc i wont, love u Souji, pls get sum rest i worry

He smiled a little at this last one. 

> I love you, too, Yosuke. Thank you. Text me when you get in? Even if I’m not up.

> yep, gotta go stock the vitamin section now tho (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

* * *

Souji’s dreams that night started normally - rows of televisions, the robotic figure constantly lingering just out of sight, at the edge of his vision, in half-seen images flashing across the TVs. As he made his way through the maze, however, he began to realise that things were getting darker and darker; soon he could barely see a foot in front of his face, much less find his way forward. Stumbling over something in the dark, he tripped, falling to his knees; he was just about to pick himself up when he realised he wasn’t alone.

Putting his hands on his knees, he forced his voice to stay steady. “Who’s there?”

An acerbic chuckle was the only response, but a figure materialised in front of him; at first he thought it was the robotic figure that had been following him, but as the figure stepped closer, he froze.

“Y-yosuke?”

“Guess again _partner_.” The voice was like, but not quite like Yosuke’s; it was darker, more sarcastic, and as the figure leaned forward, there was a glint of gold that Souji quickly realised came from the figure’s eyes - but everything else about him looked like Yosuke, down to the headphones around his neck. The figure’s smile wasn’t _nice_ , but he looked so much like the brunette in every other way that when it offered a hand up, Souji took it before he realised that it might not be the best idea. 

Smirking, the doppelganger tugged Souji up - and pulled him close. Souji started, trying to pull away, but when he couldn’t see the figures incongruous golden eyes, it was _just like_ finding himself in Yosuke’s arms, and he found himself blushing. Not-Yosuke, on the other hand, had a firm grasp on the silver-haired boy’s wrist as he leaned close.

“Gotta say I’m kinda disappointed that you don’t remember me, _partner_. But then, you don’t remember anything, do you?”

“What-?” The whisper against his ear was _too much_ , and Souji forcefully jerked himself away from the doppelganger. “Who are you, what’s going on? What do you know about my missing memories?”

“A lot more than you do.” There was another one of those _maddening_ chuckles, and Not-Yosuke reached out to caress Souji’s cheek, and Souji slapped him away.

“You’re _not Yosuke_ , don’t touch me. If you know what’s going on, tell me; if you won’t tell me then _let me go._ ” 

“It’s a _dream_ , dumbass. You can wake up any time you choose to - you can figure at least _that_ much out, can’t you? And don’t worry - _you’re_ not the one I want. You are keeping me from him, though, so while I won’t tell you anything about your little ‘conundrum’” - here the doppelganger made air quotes “-you might want to handle it before we get too annoyed and take things into our own hands, okay?”

 _We? Who is we?_ Souji was about to ask, but as if reading his mind, Not-Yosuke shook a finger. “Nuh-uh, no clues. That’s for me to know - and you to find out. And you’d best get to finding out, I’m getting _really_ annoyed. Bye-bye, now!”

Souji had just started to retort something about being better able to _figure it out_ if he’d stop keeping secrets when everything faded; he heard a last, quiet chuckle in his ear, and at the sound, sat up. Blinking, he looked around, realising that he was in bed, in his room, and that it was morning; he was drenched with sweat, and there was a blinking light on his phone. Picking it up, he swiped across the screen to see that it was just about time to get up.

Yosuke’s texts, at least, calmed him down. 

> home, gonna shower n sleep but i love u

The next two were only an hour old.

> ugh its 2 early, hope ur sleepin well
> 
> i’ll text u b4 i get off work n we’ll get aiyas r somethin

Sighing, Souji stared at his phone. _What the hell was that dream?_ Something about it gave him a headache, and that in and of itself told him that it wasn’t _just_ a dream - which made him wonder if _any_ of his dreams had been ‘just’ dreams. _I’ll talk to Yosuke about it when we get together._

Deciding to get another shower, Souji sent a text to Yosuke’s brother, Ted, asking if it was okay for him to come get his school bag; there was a response waiting when he came back from the bathroom.

> Of Course, Sensei! I’m Beary Happy, Come Over Any Time!

Looking bemusedly at the screen, Souji couldn’t help chuckling. Yosuke’s brother was kind of weird, but he was a good kid, and while Souji couldn’t quite understand him, he enjoyed the kid’s company. Getting dressed, he told Nanako he’d be back by dinner, and then headed out.

* * *

When he got to Yosuke’s house, it was just Teddie; the blonde boy seemed inordinately pleased to see Souji, and he barely let the silver-haired boy get his shoes off before dragging him upstairs to Yosuke’s room. “Please stay for a little bit, Sensei! I never get to see you any more!”

 _I really have to do my homework… but okay. It can’t hurt to give him a little time, can it? I never really get to spend much time with the others._ He gave Teddie a hesitant nod. “Okay, Ted. I have to leave soon because I need to do my homework, but yeah, I can stay a bit.”

“Woo-hoo! I’ll go make tea! Tea for Sensei~” Clapping, the blonde boy ran out of the room, and Souji could hear his footsteps clattering down the stairs; too late, Souji realised that he hadn’t asked for his bag. He looked around, and didn’t see it immediately; he did see Yosuke’s messy bed, however, and he smiled to himself.

_He must have been in a rush to get to work. I hope he wasn’t late._

It was the work of a few minutes to make the brunette’s bed; he was just smoothing the pillow - taking a quick moment to bury his face in his boyfriend’s scent, which just made him _miss_ Yosuke, so much - when his foot bumped something under the bed. 

_I’ll bet that’s my bag._

Dropping to his knees, he lifted the bedspread to see not his bag, but a box; it was unfamiliar, but oddly enough, it looked like it came from the Dojimas’ rice cooker, which was still relatively new. He knew he _shouldn’t_ pry through Yosuke’s things, but he couldn’t help it; reaching under the bed, he pulled the box over. 

His heart lept into his throat when he opened it; the first thing he saw on top was a picture of himself and Yosuke, grinning at the camera with their arms around each other’s shoulders. Hesitantly, he touched the picture. _I don’t… I don’t remember this. And I look so- so_ happy _in this picture._

Hands shaking, he started to look through the rest of the box; there wasn’t much in it, but he found a couple of CDs with Yosuke’s now-familiar handwriting, some photos, a Christmas card, and a few other odds-and-ends, including a t-shirt. 

The photos broke his heart. They were all of himself and Yosuke - at the beach, digging in the garden with Nanako, with the rest of the group, at school, by the river - and in all of them the two boys had wide, happy smiles. They both looked carefree, and Souji wondered if he’d _ever_ feel that way again. He felt something brush his cheek; reaching up, he realised he was crying. 

Against his better judgement, he opened the card. The note inside - again, in Yosuke’s handwriting - was short, but so sweet that he had to cover his mouth to stop from sobbing.

> _Souji,_
> 
> _I know I joke around alot and I don’t always seem serious but I’m serious ~~abt~~ about you. I love you and I really am the luckiest guy in the world that ~~u~~ you came to inaba. I can’t believe that a guy like u would like a guy like me, but you do so I guess it’s fate. Now that everything’s finally over, lets just relax and have a lot of fun._
> 
> _Merry Christmas,_
> 
> _I love you,_
> 
> _Yosuke_

The card was _so_ Yosuke, but at the same time not - Souji had _never_ heard Yosuke sound this insecure about anything - and he stared down at it. As he did, he remembered a conversation he’d heard between Chie and Yukiko, where Chie had said that she just didn’t know how Yosuke had managed all this time, and suddenly it _struck_ Souji.

 _Yosuke’s been in love with me from the beginning. Yosuke was in love with me when I was in the hospital, when I was getting back on my feet - the entire time._ He looked down at the box in his trembling hands. _He loved me, but he deliberately buried everything just to make it easier on me, stayed silent - because he didn’t want to push me. And yet he stayed with me, loved me the whole time… oh_ Yosuke _, how hard that must have been for you! I’m so_ sorry _!_

Shoving the box back under the bed, he put his hands over his face. _What am I doing? I’m going around and around in circles, I can’t even figure myself out… what can I do? What can I do to make this better for Yosuke? What can I do to ever repay him for everything he’s done for me? Dammit, why do I have to be so_ weak _?_

Slamming his hand onto the ground, he hunched over the carpet, sobbing; he didn’t even care that his tears were soaking the rug, he just _hurt_ , everything _hurt_ , and he was so _tired_ of not knowing - not knowing his friends, his family, his lover, or even what to do to get it all back. 

Just then, the door flew open. “Sensei! Sensei! Are you okay?” Teddie came running into the room; it was all Souji could do to look up at him.

“I’m not okay, Ted. I’m tired, so _tired_ of not remembering! And Yosuke, he-” He took a deep breath. “He just… puts up with me, and I _hate_ that he has to go through this!”

“Sensei! It’s okay!” A worried look on his face, Teddie dropped down to kneel next to Souji. “Really! Nobody blames you! We all know that it’s not your fault, it’s because you lost your persona- _oh no!_ ” Eyes wide, he slapped his hands over his mouth as Souji blinked.

_My what?_

_What’s a persona?_

As he had this thought, the most _excruciating_ pain jolted through his skull; he put his hands up, cradling his head, and beside him he could hear Teddie fretting, but it was all he could do to keep breathing, keep awake. Finally, when the pain faded, he turned to look at the blonde boy.

“What’s a persona, Ted?”

The young boy looked frightened. “I- I can’t say, I promised, and-”

 _So it_ is _something important._ Fighting another jolt, he reached out to put a hand on Teddie’s shoulder. “Ted. Please. I don’t know what you’re talking about, but if it’s something to do with my memories, _tell me_.”

He didn’t know it, but for a moment, he sounded like his old self, and when he did, Teddie’s eyes widened. Looking down, he slowly started to tell Souji everything; it was jumbled, but the boy did a surprisingly good job at telling a coherent story; he’d been _part_ of that world, after all, and he’d seen all of it, from the beginning. When he finally finished, Souji found himself staring at his hands.

 _What. That sounds like madness._ None _of that can be true._

But if it wasn’t true, why did his head hurt _so_ badly?

Why did the empty spot in his head - in his heart, his soul - burn so badly?

He had to stop again to hold his head - he’d _never_ had a headache this badly before, and that itself told him that Teddie’s fantastic, unbelievable story had to be real. _And it fits all of the little details. That was Yosuke’s shadow in my dream last night. It’s why we’re all so close, even though none of us normally would have become friends - other than a few of us. And I’ll_ bet _that figure I keep dreaming about is my persona. And besides… when has Naoto ever been wrong?_

Finally, he looked up; Teddie was watching him with anxious eyes, and Souji took a deep breath. 

“So you’re saying that I lost my persona because I never faced my… uh, my shadow.”

Teddie nodded, his blue eyes wide with worry. “That’s what Nao-chan thinks.”

“And that’s why I lost my memories.”

A nod.

“What if.. I go back into this- this TV world?”

“But you can’t, sensei! You have to have a persona to be able to get back in!”

Souji winced - his headache was killing him, but he _had_ to get through this. “But _you_ have a persona, right? You can let me in.”

Panic flashed across Teddie’s face at this. “I can’t, sensei! I can’t!”

“Please!” Desperately, Souji grabbed the blonde’s arms. “Listen, Ted, I keep dreaming about a robot with a long black coat and a big naginata. That’s him, isn’t it? My persona?” Nodding, Teddie bit his lip; Souji continued. “I haven’t been back - for all we know, all I have to do is go _in_. He might be waiting for me there! That’s why I’ve been dreaming about him!” 

“I-” The conviction on Teddie’s face wavered, and Souji took a deep breath.

 _“Please,_ Ted. Think about Yosuke! Think about how _happy_ he’s going to be when he sees me and I remember him!”

This was the final straw; Teddie didn’t look _happy_ , but finally he nodded, and Souji jumped up. “There’s a TV here, I can just go in, right?”

“No!” The panic on the blonde’s face had morphed into an expression that could only be described as ‘scolding’. “We have to go in at Junes! It’s the only safe place!” 

* * *

Half an hour later, they found themselves standing in front of the TV at Junes. Souji - wearing his uniform and carrying a golf club as the only weapon they could find, at Teddie’s insistence - looked up at the TV doubtfully, wondering if he was actually crazy after all; but by this point, he was willing to do anything. Taking a deep breath, he turned to the younger boy.

“Okay, Ted. Let me in, but I need you to stay out here.”

“What? Sensei, no!” The blonde started to panic, but Souji forced himself to be calm, and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“You said it’s safe now that Izanami is gone, right? I won’t go far, and I need someone here who knows where I’ve gone. If I’m gone too long, you can go and get somebody, okay?”

He prayed that he sounded confident enough, and apparently he did, because Teddie finally nodded. He looked uncertain, but after a moment, he put his hand on the TV. Souji’s eyes widened a little as the surface rippled; hesitantly, he put out a hand, and it was only because he was _so_ tired and in _so_ much pain that he wasn’t shocked when his hand went _through_ the screen, as if it wasn’t even there. Taking a deep breath, he nodded, stepping inside. 

* * *

About fifteen minutes after Souji disappeared into the TV, Yosuke frowned at his phone. He was on his break, and he’d texted Souji several times, but he hadn’t gotten an answer; he _hoped_ Souji was still sleeping - _lord knows he needs the rest_ \- but his boyfriend had _never_ been the type to sleep in, so it worried him. 

_I’ll call Ted, see if he made it over. Maybe he forgot to charge his phone_.

Surprisingly enough, Teddie picked up after only one ring; Yosuke didn’t even have a chance to say anything, however, before the boy’s panicked voice came through the line.

“Yosuke! Yosuke, Sensei went into the TV and I’ve got the worst feeling and I think something’s wrong, and-”

“WHAT?”  Yosuke’s voice was loud enough that everyone in the breakroom turned around to look at him; putting a hand over the mouthpiece of the phone, he hurried into the hallway. 

_Oh my god he did_ what?

“ _What the hell, Ted? Why does Souji know? Why would you_ ** _let him go on his own_** _? What’s going on? Are you here? You’re here, aren’t you?”_

He didn’t even wait for the blonde to respond; tearing off his apron, he was already taking the steps, two-at-a-time, heading for the electronics department. By the time he’d gotten to the TVs, Ted had told him everything. 

Yosuke couldn’t _blame_ him - after all, they’d all realised that Souji needed to know, anyway - but this was _not_ the way it should have happened. He stayed only long enough to reassure Ted that it wasn’t his fault before climbing into the TV; he wished he had his kunai, but there wasn’t _time_ to go home to get them, not with Souji alone inside the TV.

_Please let him be okay!_

As soon as he stepped into the TV world, he felt Jiraya gnawing at the edge of his consciousness; he hadn’t been in for over half a year - since Izanami - and he hadn’t realised just how _anxious_ his persona was. It made sense; he’d always suspected that Jiraya and Izanagi had been as close as he and Souji - it wasn’t like they _talked_ to their personas, but their personas were extensions of themselves, and… well, yeah. The persona had to be as on edge as Yosuke was, especially considering he’d been a jackass as a shadow.

He decided to visit the liquor store, first of all; there was always a chance Souji would be drawn there, since it was where he’d first summoned Izanagi - and if he wasn’t there, the boys had at least stashed a couple of spare weapons in one of the empty sake barrels. It was strange and a little disorienting, seeing everything without fog - but the liquor store was his own personal hell, for want of a better term, and he would have been able to find it with his eyes closed.

Meanwhile, he couldn’t stop the nervous anxiety from filling his stomach as he raced along. _I should have told you, I should have told you everything earlier, I should have been there to come with you, oh god Souji I’m so sorry, I should have been there for you, I just want you to be okay, I want you to be okay and then we’ll figure everything out, I swear it, oh god Souji please be okay-_

Yosuke’s train of thought was cut short when he stepped into the liquor store; to his relief, he saw Souji standing by the counter, looking around, his back to the brunette. Stopping to catch his breath, Yosuke leaned over, hands on his knees.

“Oh, thank god you’re here, Souji, you’re okay. Listen, we _have to go_ , I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, but this place is dangerous, we need to find your shadow, but not like this, let’s-”

As he spoke, Souji turned; at the same time Yosuke saw the golden eyes, the shadow moved - too fast for the brunette to see - and suddenly Yosuke found himself caught in a headlock. Gold eyes stared into amber, and then Shadow Souji moved his lips to the brunette’s ear, and Yosuke couldn’t help shuddering; the shadow’s breath was warm on his neck. “Think about how much safer this all would have been if you’d actually _talked_ about things instead of hiding them. Isn’t that right, _me?_ ”

With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Yosuke looked over to see Souji - the _real_ Souji - standing in the doorway; there was a shocked expression on his face as he stared at Yosuke and his own shadow. There was a quiver in his voice as he clenched his hands into fists.

“Yosuke-? What’s going on? Why are you here?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 9 of Please Remember Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama, and _definite_ innuendo.
> 
> There will be at least one more chapter of pure fluff after this.

Yosuke stared at Souji in panic, immediately trying to pull away from his boyfriend’s shadow. “Get back, Souji! You have to get away - it’s not safe! I just came in to get you, we’re not ready for this, and-”

“And you don’t get to _make_ that choice, not here. Not now.” Shadow Souji’s voice sounded again in his ear; underneath the amused tones, Yosuke could hear an undercurrent of anger and frustration. “Not this time. Not when we’ve been suffering at your inaction for _months_.”

The shadow let Yosuke pull away far enough that they were no longer in a compromising position, but moved his arm down around the brunette’s shoulders, pinning his arms; looking across the room, he glared at Souji. “He’s right, though; once upon a time it might have been fun to try to play you two off each other, but I’m so tired I don’t even _want_ to deal with misunderstandings right now. I am so _fucking_ sick of you two screwing up, I’m tired of waiting - I’m tired of being _lonely!”_

At the word _lonely_ , Yosuke jerked his head around to look at the shadow. _Lonely? He-_ oh _. Jiraiya. They-_

Before he could finish this thought, the shadow looked at him, and there was a note of longing, of heartbreak in his eyes that Yosuke recognised all-too-well from his own mirror, from the days before the cultural festival. Before the brunette could say anything, however, the shadow was speaking again; there was anger and envy in his voice, and it made both of the boys wince.

“That’s right. Here I am, trapped in this hellhole, yet it was _I_ who fought in the front lines, who beat your big bad enemy #1 to dust. It was _I_ that saved everybody from their wretched shadows. I gave everybody _so much_ , but all they did was keep everything from me when I needed it the most!” The arm around Yosuke’s shoulders tightened as the shadow’s voice grew more and more emotional, more anguished. “And you!” He pointed at Souji. “Even you abandoned me! You’ve been playing around with your precious Yosuke here while I’ve been alone and lonely! ‘You found your other half’ well fucking good for you, what about _mine?_ What about _my_ other half? I can’t get him back, not like this!” The shadow gestured wildly at himself, pausing to catch his breath; as he did, Souji - who’d been watching with a stunned expression on his face, opened his mouth. Before he could speak, however, the shadow cut him off.

“Don’t- _don’t_. I don’t want to hear your platitudes, how you’re sorry, how you didn’t know. Fuck you! He’ll even come to _you_ in your dreams, but guess what? I can’t _have_ dreams, not when I’m stuck in this shitty state!” At this, Shadow Souji turned to look at Yosuke; there was a wild look in his eyes that made the brunette’s stomach drop, and a slow, _cruel_ smile curved the shadow’s lips. “You know what? Fuck it. You took mine, I’ll take yours. Enjoy the view, _Souji_.”

Yosuke found himself being jerked close, and before he could even register what was happening, the shadow kissed him. It was hard and insistent, more forceful than Souji had ever been - even after hard fights, after moments of terror when they were both caught up in a rush of adrenaline - and it _hurt_. The brunette tried to fight it, tried to push the shadow away - he didn’t _want_ to kiss him, didn’t want to kiss anyone other than Souji, but there was a rustling, a pulsing in his brain, and he could feel Jiraiya straining at their bond. He continued to struggle, but it was _so hard_ to fight the overwhelming rush of _need this, want this_ in his brain.

* * *

Souji stared at his shadow, feeling lost and confused. His head hurt as it had never hurt before, his hands were shaking, and the insults hurled at him from the figure that wore his face - _my shadow?_ \- just confused him; none of them made sense. It was clear that something was wrong, though, and he couldn’t deny that the resonance he felt when Shadow Souji said “ _all they did was keep everything from me when I needed it the most_ ” was so strong that it felt like a physical blow.

He hadn’t even had a chance to recover when his shadow grabbed Yosuke, pulling him close; when he kissed the brunette, Souji felt a searing bolt of jealousy stab through his gut, and even though he could see Yosuke struggling to get away, for a moment he just felt _anger_. Anger at the brunette, at his friends, at his shadow, at _everything_. 

_Why? What did I do to deserve this?_

Souji without his memories, however, was still _Souji_ , he still had the same sharp mind and eye for patterns and details, and an answer came even as he forced himself to unclench his hands before his nails dug bloody lines into his palms. _I didn’t do anything, but that’s not how these things work. Sometimes things just happen, and we have to deal with it._

It wasn’t Yosuke’s fault, it wasn’t his friends’ fault, it wasn’t _his_ fault - but it was still happening, and it still needed to be dealt with.

 _And I’ll be damned if I let him put his hands on Yosuke_.

Striding forward - he’d already dropped the golf club somewhere, he wasn’t sure where - he grabbed his shadow’s collar, jerking him back and away from Yosuke. It felt _good_ \- he hadn’t realised just how strong he was, when it came down to it, but if they’d been fighting shadows and supernatural creatures for months, it stood to reason - and the look of relief on his boyfriend’s face when the shadow was pulled back was enough to fuel the flame of anger in Souji’s stomach. 

“Back off, he’s _mine_. You want yours, then let’s sort this out - face me, but keep your hands off my Yosuke!” 

The shadow whirled around at this, a feral grin on his face; when he loosened his hold, the brunette scrambled away, rubbing his wrists, as Shadow Souji had been holding onto him with a fierce, painful grip. Souji, meanwhile, kept his eyes on his shadow, who sneered at him.

“Look at you, all high-and-mighty. You don’t even have a persona, where do you think you’re going to get off, telling me what to-”

Before he could finish his taunt, Souji pulled back and _decked_ the shadow, right in the face; it hurt, but it also felt _good_ , and he loosened his shoulders, preparing to punch the shadow again. Before he could, Shadow Souji pulled back, rubbing his jaw; there was a glint in his eyes that hinted at both glee and anger, and he darted forward, trying to sweep Souji off his feet and onto the ground. 

* * *

The two struggled for a moment, finally falling over onto the floor, where they continued to grapple. It was no-holds-barred; Souji would get his hand over his shadow’s mouth, and his shadow would bite him, or the shadow would kick Souji’s knee and Souji would elbow him away. 

Yosuke winced at each hit, but he couldn’t see a place where he could - or should - intervene; this _was_ , after all, between Souji and his shadow. _If Souji can settle this without coming to an all-out persona battle, it’ll be a lot better; Shadow Izanagi would be way over our heads, and-_

Even as he thought this, however, he became of a roiling darkness that was beginning to form around the two. Even as Souji’s shadow grappled with his host, a fierce gleam in his eye, it was clear to Yosuke that he was beginning to lose his grip on his shadow form, and occasionally the brunette would see flashes of all-too-familiar darkness that made him panic. 

“Souji! Be careful, he’s-”

No sooner had he shouted this than his boyfriend jerked his head around, startled. When he did, Shadow Souji managed to get the upper hand; grabbing Souji by the throat, the shadow slammed him down. 

“ _Enough bullshit!_ I’m tired of your shit, Souji!” 

Yosuke had never seen a shadow go berserk without being denied, but he’d also never seen a shadow acting out of any emotion other than self-preservation, a desperate need to be accepted. Jumping to his feet, he made a rush for the barrel where they’d hidden their weapons, so many months before; his kunai were sitting in the bottom, as was Souji’s katana - the two occasionally came into the TV world to explore together, although they’d never gone far alone - and he grabbed them, grateful for the familiar weight in his palms. For a second, he reached for the long blade; turning to look, however, his stomach sank as he saw Souji lying prone on the ground, a sickeningly-familiar shadow looming over him - Shadow Izanagi. 

_At least it’s nothing like the corrupted version Adachi had_. Instead of looking like a sickly copy of Souji’s normal persona, it was a hulking figure, with torn sleeves and a giant sword; it almost looked like a yakuza brawler, and there was a distorted, angry smile on its face, stretched below two glowing red eyes. 

Before the shadow could grab Souji, Yosuke dove towards them, rolling to his feet between his boyfriend and the shadow; he knocked Izanagi’s gauntleted hand away with one of his kunai. “It’s between you and me this time, shadow. You’re not gonna fucking touch him!” The two stanced up - Yosuke did what he could to draw the shadow away from Souji’s prone form - and without thinking, Yosuke summoned Jiraiya. 

It wasn’t until he finished the summon - and Jiraiya didn’t respond - that Yosuke realised he was in trouble. _Jiraiya loves Izanagi. He’s not going to want to come. But don’t you see?_ He found himself pleading, hoping his shadow, his persona, could understand him. _I don’t want to hurt him! I just want to get him back, so that Souji can accept him!_ He dodged a swing of Izanagi’s giant sword, dancing backwards out of its reach. _Come on, Jiraiya! I need your help! I promise I’ll get him back for you!_

Finally, Jiraiya appeared, and as he did, Izanagi hesitated for a moment, as if stumbling over his own feet. Yosuke took advantage of this, darting forward to strike at Izanagi’s hand, trying to get him to drop his sword; it _almost_ worked, but at the last second the shadow pulled back, giving a mocking laugh as he held out a hand. Yosuke could tell what was coming, and dodged, but the lightning struck too close for comfort and the electric energy in the air made it hard for him to breathe. 

“I’m not the one who forgot everything.” The shadow laughed with a robotic voice. “I know _all_ your weaknesses, Jiraiya - I _am_ your weakness!” 

That was when Yosuke knew that he was going to have to fight with everything he had. Reaching out, he willed his persona to attack; the wind spell was effective - as Izanagi was Jiraiya’s weakness, so it was in reverse - but it was such a weak attack that Yosuke knew that Jiraiya was having trouble. He couldn’t exactly _blame_ him - _I’d be devastated if I had to attack Souji_ \- but he also knew that this was _not_ the ‘normal’ Izanagi, and if they went easy on him, he’d try to _kill_ them. Enraged shadows had no concept of winning or losing; they’d fight until the other party was dead. 

_I’ll just have to make up for Jiraiya, then._

It was a long, terrible fight. More than once, the brunette found himself feeling angry that he’d let his training languish; none of them had thought they’d need it any longer, after all. More than once, he had to pour himself into his persona to force Jiraiya to use anything beyond basic attacks, and every time he did, he could feel the anguish and heartbreak that the persona was fighting against. He made the most of every stagger, every wind attack that set the shadow reeling; the brunette was slowly wearing Izanagi out, but it was slow, so slow.

To be honest, he wasn’t even sure it was going to work. It was _so_ slow that he was quickly losing stamina, as well; he wasn’t able to dodge _all_ of Izanagi’s lightning attacks, and each one tore through him with a pain so agonising that he swore, every time, that it was his last breath. Slowly, he found himself slipping; he was _so_ exhausted, in so much pain that he didn’t know how much longer he could keep it up.

It was the sight of Souji, lying still on the floor, that helped him pull himself up one last time. Clenching his fists around the hilts of his kunai, he stood panting, trying to catch his breath. Facing him, Shadow Izanagi reeled, looking punch-drunk; there was still fire in the robot’s red eyes, but it was dim, and it was evident that they were both reaching the end of their ropes. Drawing himself up, Yosuke closed his eyes. 

_Jiraiya - we have to do this. It sucks, but we have to. Take it all, take everything, just… just hit him with everything you can! Finish this so that we can get them back - both of them!_

For a moment, he wasn’t sure it was going to work; he could feel the grief radiating from his persona, who he could see reflected in the liquor cases, hovering behind him. Jiraiya’s head was bowed, and he looked as exhausted and weary as the brunette. Just then, Izanagi staggered into a standing position; it was clear that he was firing himself up to make a last attack, and when he did, Yosuke tensed, raising his kunai. He’d done what he could, but now it was up to Jiraiya. 

Gripping his sword, the berserk shadow charged them; Yosuke braced himself for impact, praying that he’d make it just _one more attack_ when suddenly wind filled the small store. Liquor labels, receipts, and advertisements went flying wildly around the room, and a green column blossomed from the sky, pummelling the shadow to the ground. When it faded, Izanagi was gone, and only Shadow Souji remained, slumped over on the ground. 

_Thank… god…_

Yosuke tried to stumble over towards his boyfriend, who’d stirred on the ground and started to groan, but he only managed one step before he staggered, falling onto the floor in a dead faint. 

* * *

Souji wasn’t sure what had just happened, but he opened his eyes, feeling like he’d just been run over by a truck. The last thing he remembered was being in a fist-fight with his shadow; Yosuke had yelled something to him about being careful, but then after that - nothing. Groaning, he pushed himself up into a sitting position; he barely had a chance to see Yosuke, lying flat and still, before his attention was drawn to his shadow, pushing himself up off the ground. Souji tried to climb to his feet, to get away from his shadow, which was stalking towards him, but he _couldn’t_ ; the shadow was exhausted, but he had more energy than Souji did, and before the silver-haired boy could crawl away his shadow reached down to grab him by the collar. 

He found himself hauled to his feet; there was still a surprising amount of strength in Shadow Souji’s grip as he held his host upright, so that they were face-to-face. 

“Do you know what it’s like? You never, _ever_ needed me. You had never had to face me; you had everything handed to you on a silver platter. Even if _I_ had needed to fight it out, _you_ didn’t - you got all of the benefits without any of the effort. Even now, you managed to find your soulmate again without even having to face me! I’ve been here, all alone, by myself for _so long!_ ”

He gave a choked sob, and Souji realised that there were tears streaking his shadow’s face. Frowning, he struggled for a moment, forcing the Shadow to let him go; straightening up, he put his hands on his shadow’s shoulders, and it stared at him with a sullen expression. 

Souji took a deep breath. _I know exactly how he feels. How many times have I felt like a burden? Like I’m just dragging everyone down? But he’s_ not _. Even if he’s here right now, he’s the part of me that is_ why _everyone supports me, why everyone stayed with me even when I lost my memories._

“Hey.” His voice was quiet, and the one word was enough to catch his shadow’s attention. “You’re wrong. I’ve always needed you, I just didn’t _know_ about you. You say that’s not an excuse, and maybe it isn’t, but it’s still the truth. I’ve been searching for you for so long now - maybe we didn’t know each other before, but that didn’t stop you from being there for me, for helping me every step of the way. It wasn’t _me_ that helped my friends - it was _us_. You and me. I couldn’t have done any of it without you - and I want that back. I _need_ that back. I don’t want you to be stuck here, I want you to be with me, to be part of me again.”

The look in his shadow’s eyes as he said this was a heartbreaking mix of hope and longing, and as Souji held open his arms, his shadow wrapped his arms around him, burying his face against his host’s shoulder with a massive sob. Souji hugged him gently. “Thank you for everything you’ve done, I wouldn’t be here without you.”

At these words, there was a flash of light; the words “ _I am thou, and thou art I_ ” echoed through the room as Souji staggered backwards, tears streaming down his face. Memories flashed through his brain faster than he could comprehend, could recognise any single one of them; suddenly he _remembered_ , he remembered _everything_ , and he felt his past and present coming together as seamlessly as if he’d never been missing an entire year. Looking up, he realised that his persona - _Izanagi_ \- was floating beside him; across the room, he saw Yosuke lying on the floor, prone, with Jiraiya floating protectively above him. 

At the sight of his boyfriend, fear gripped Souji’s heart; he screamed _“PARTNER!”_ , dashing towards the brunette. He could see Jiraiya leaving his post, flying across the room back to where Izanagi was floating, but he could spare the two no attention; he was focused on Yosuke, terrified that something had happened to his boyfriend.

Putting a hand to Yosuke wrist, he was relieved to find that the brunette’s pulse was strong; gathering his boyfriend into his lap, Souji put his hand Yosuke’s cheek, stroking it gently. “Partner? Partner, wake up!”

* * *

It was the word _partner_ that got through to Yosuke. It sounded so _good_ , and he hadn’t heard it for so _long_ that he opened his eyes, expecting to find that he was in a dream, or that the whole thing - Souji’s amnesia, had _been_ a dream.

The first thing he saw was Souji’s face, looking anxious, hovering over him; the brunette’s immediate response was to smile and put a hand up to touch his boyfriend’s cheek, but when he moved he realised that everything _hurt_. _There’s no way this is a dream. And this isn’t Yomi, this is the liquor store, so there’s no way_ that _was a dream, either. Is it-_

When he touched Souji’s cheek, the silver-haired boy’s expression changed from worried to relieved, and he put his hand up to cover Yosuke’s as he sobbed out, “Oh, Yosuke, thank god you’re okay, oh my god, I missed you, I missed you _so much,_ I love you so much, partner!”

It was the repetition of the word _partner_ \- a name Yosuke hadn’t once called Souji since his amnesia - that gave the brunette pause; his hand trembling, he cupped his boyfriend’s cheek, which was wet with tears. “Did you- did you say _partner?_ ”

As Souji nodded, Yosuke pushed himself up, into a seated position - trying not to groan - and he took his boyfriend’s hands. “Oh my god. Do you mean- do you remember?”

“Everything.” There was an expression on Souji’s face that Yosuke hadn’t seen for months, that he’d missed _so_ much, and Souji pulled the brunette close. “I remember everything, I remember the past, I remember the missing year, I remember everything we’ve been through since I lost my memories; oh _Yosuke_ , I’ve put you through so much pain!” 

“Partner!” Yosuke threw himself into Souji’s arms, burying his face against his boyfriend’s shoulder as he started to cry. “You’re back! I missed you so much!” 

They sat like that for some time, holding one another, breathing in each others’ scents; they were both exhausted and battered, but there was an energy in being _together_ again, and soon enough Souji was pulling back. Smiling into Yosuke’s eyes with tears still in his own, he brushed his thumb across the brunette’s jaw before leaning down to kiss him. 

Yosuke responded immediately, wrapping his arms around Souji’s neck; this kiss was no soft brush of lips, it was deep and hungry, and so sweet the brunette felt himself going dizzy. This time _Souji_ was the one clinging desperately to his boyfriend, but Yosuke felt just as eager as he, and he ran his fingers into Souji’s hair, tugging him in closer. 

After what felt simultaneously like years and mere seconds, Souji pulled back, trying to catch his breath. Reaching down, he brushed Yosuke’s sweat-damp hair from his forehead. 

“It’s so weird to see you in here without glasses - but I guess we don’t need them any more, do we?” When the brunette shook his head, Souji leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m _so sorry_ , Yosuke. I can’t believe what I put you through, I can’t believe everything I made you suffer; you’re so amazing, so… god, so perfect, so loyal, so wonderful, I don’t _deserve_ you! I’m so, _so_ sorry, partner.”

“Hey.” Yosuke’s voice was tired, but he had a smile on his face that glowed like the setting sun. “It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault, you know? Forget what your shadow said about that. Besides, I told you I would never ever leave you and I _meant_ it.” He had to stop for a minute when Souji leaned in for another kiss, a grateful expression in his eyes, but when the silver-haired boy pulled back again, Yosuke reached up to gently stroke his hair. “I meant it, I will stay with you until the end, and I would have even if you’d never gotten your memories back. I’m just sorry we never told you anything. It won’t make it any better, but we _were_ planning to tell you as soon as possible, now that we’d figured out it was because of your persona. Before then, though, we didn’t want to push you because the doctors said it might make things worse.”

“I understand, Yosuke. Despite what my shadow said, I’m not mad. He was more angry than I was - but I think that was about Jiraiya, not about you and me.” He paused for a moment, hesitantly meeting the brunette’s amber eyes. “You’re not- you’re not disgusted by my shadow and how selfish I am?”

Yosuke laughed at this, and the cheerful sound smoothed the tiny wrinkles of worry that were etched around the corners of Souji’s eyes. “Partner, you’re probably the least-selfish person I _know_. And you know what? It’s okay sometimes to _be_ selfish. You deserve things, too, you deserve to have things you want and things you need, and I’m sorry if we kept things from you. I’m sorry if it ever seemed like we didn’t appreciate you; we all know how much we owe you - and Izanagi - and how much you’ve done for us. We’ll try harder to show you in the future.”

“I think you show me perfectly well,” Souji murmured, leaning down to capture Yosuke’s lips in another kiss. He pulled his boyfriend close, wrapping his arms tightly around the brunette, and Yosuke scooted over to sit between Souji’s knees; they were in the middle of a particularly deep kiss when the brunette felt the faintest thrill of pleasure weave through his consciousness, and he couldn’t help laughing. When he did, Souji pulled back, a questioning expression on his face. 

“Something funny?”

“Mmmm, not exactly.” Yosuke smiled. “I think that Izanagi and Jiraiya are off doing pretty much the same thing right now, though.” 

“Good, let them.” Souji nuzzled Yosuke’s neck, kissing below his ear. “They deserve it, and that keeps them out of our hair because right now, I only want to be with you.” Trailing his lips across his boyfriend’s jaw, he kissed him again; a deep, hungry kiss that went straight _through_ Yosuke, down to his toes. Sliding his hand down Yosuke’s side, Souji slipped it up underneath the brunette’s shirt, caressing his side; his touch felt _amazing_ , and Yosuke couldn’t help groaning - it had been _months_ since they’d gotten this close, and he wanted Souji _so_ much - but a thought made him pull back, panting. 

“We- we _can’t_ , Souji, not here. We’re in the open, and the others- the others could come along at any time. Ted was _really_ worried.”

Souji made a noise of frustration, and Yosuke could tell that he was having to fight himself for restraint; after a moment, however, he sighed, grabbing Yosuke’s hand as he scrambled to his feet. “Ugh. Fine, you’re right - but we’re going to your house _right now_.” 

The silver-haired boy pulled the brunette to his feet, and after making sure that Yosuke wasn’t injured, and wasn’t too exhausted, he made a beeline for the exit; with the shadow problem dealt with, there were no more dangers to contend with, and they made it back in relatively short measure. From there, it was easy enough to make it into the electronics department - Souji, of course, took the opportunity to help the brunette step out of the TV, and stole a kiss in the process - and they were just making their way into the lobby when the front doors flew open and the entire group raced in, following Teddie.

The group stopped, and there were cries of ‘senpai!’ and ‘Souji-kun!’ but Souji barely paused. Smiling, he nodded to the group.

“Hey guys, I’m back, thank you for everything, let’s get together later, okay? I’ll text you guys.” Souji knew he was being selfish, but he’d never ever really _been_ selfish before - and as Yosuke had told him, a little bit was okay sometimes. _Especially when I need him, so badly, right now. Stories can wait. Yosuke’s had the worst of it, from the beginning. I want - I_ need _\- to cherish him._

“But- Souji- what- you’re _back_?” As he was thinking this, Chie blurted out what was on everyone’s tongues, and the silver-haired boy - still holding Yosuke’s hand, as the brunette just stood behind him and _blushed_ \- nodded.

“Yeah, um, right now we’re kind of busy but we can all get Aiya’s after school tomorrow, okay?” He started walking again, clearly determined to waste as little time as he could. “Bye!” 

Yosuke had never looked so embarrassed in his life, but he’d also never looked so _happy_ ; he just gave a little wave to the group as Souji dragged him off. “Uh, sorry guys, we’ll text you!”

As they disappeared around the corner, down the street that led to the Hanamuras’ house, the rest of the group looked at each other, dumbfounded. 

“I… did they just-?” Chie was the first to speak, but at the same time, Kanji shook his head.

“What the _hell_ just happened?”

“Well, I guess Souji-senpai found his shadow.” Naoto looked red-faced, and she cleared her throat. “It’s fine, as long as he tells us what happened when we meet up tomorrow.”

“Have you ever _seen_ Yosuke-kun so embarrassed?” Yukiko was grinning.

Next to her, Rise put a hand over her mouth, giggling. “I’m so happy for Yosuke-senpai! He deserves this.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 10 (final) of Please Remember Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And wrap with so much fluff (and some innuendo). 
> 
> Many thanks to V-Gurl, whose prompt gave birth to this story, and for working with me throughout to help get the pieces just right.
> 
> Thanks to tourmalinex for letting me bounce ideas off them, and for reading over several chapters when I didn't feel comfortable judging the emotional depth for myself, also for being all-around awesome.
> 
> Thanks to Antares1 for lighting the Izanagi x Jiraiya spark in my brain, which I feel was the best plot to round out Souji's shadow confrontation.
> 
> And above all thanks to everyone who read this and gave me feedback; it's still difficult for me to judge the emotions in my writing, but I'm happy with the story as it is.

Souji knew that Yosuke had to be embarrassed - even _he_ was blushing - but when he looked back at the brunette as they stopped for the light to change so that they could cross the street, he was both surprised and charmed by the shy, _happy_ smile that Yosuke gave him. His boyfriend’s face was bright red, but he held onto Souji’s hand with a grasp that told the silver-haired boy that of all the things he could be worried about right now, embarrassment was not one of them. They didn’t speak, but they didn’t need to; their twined fingers told the story of two people connected by hearts, minds, and souls. 

As soon as they stopped for Yosuke to unlock the door, Souji was nuzzling his neck with a hand on the brunette’s waist, stroking the skin above his belt; it was all Yosuke could do to get his keys out of his pocket without giving in and just leaning back into his boyfriend’s arms. Once inside, they barely spared the time to take off their shoes; this time, Yosuke ended up at the advantage, as his sneakers were easy to slip out of, and he had Souji by the hand, dragging him towards the stairs even as the silver-haired boy threw his left shoe over to join his right.

When the bedroom door closed, Souji wrapped his arms around the brunette, pulling him in with Yosuke’s back to his chest; leaning over, he started to kiss his boyfriend’s neck, as Yosuke shuddered, grabbing onto the arms encircling his waist. Moving his lips up, Souji traced the delicate edge of Yosuke’s ear with his tongue before reaching down and picking his boyfriend up; the brunette yelped in surprise, grabbing onto Souji’s shoulders, but it was only two steps to his bed - neatly made, thanks to Souji’s earlier visit.

Face crimson, Yosuke pushed at Souji’s shoulders as the silver-haired boy laid him back. “ _Oh my god_ , Souji, what are you doing?” It was clear, however, that it was just a token complaint; there was a smile on his face that he _couldn’t_ hide, and Souji felt his heart swell as he reached down, taking the brunette’s hand into his own. Lifting it to his lips, he kissed Yosuke’s fingers as he climbed onto the bed, which creaked a little as the two of them shifted to get comfortable. Settling over Yosuke - a hand on either side of the brunette’s waist - he leaned over to nibble his boyfriend’s lip before whispering in his ear.

“I’m sorry, I just… I _need_ you, I’ve missed you so much…” 

Yosuke bit his lip, sliding a hand around Souji’s neck to pull him in for a kiss; Souji slid his hand into the brunette’s hair, slowly deepening the already-sweet kiss so that all of Yosuke’s thoughts disappeared in an intoxicating haze of pleasure. 

Eventually, Souji pulled back, panting softly. “I’m not trying to force anything, I’ll stop if you want me to, I just-”

Eyes widening, Yosuke wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. “Souji Seta, don’t you _dare_ stop, oh my god!” 

They looked at one another for a split second before starting to snicker; Souji’s amusement grew into the bright, happy laughter that Yosuke had missed _so_ much, and at the sound the brunette smiled, the corners of his eyes softening. Just then, Souji leaned over, lifting Yosuke’s shirt as he started to kiss along the brunette’s stomach; Yosuke closed his eyes, shivering even as he shifted so that his boyfriend could pull his shirt over his head. And then, Souji’s lips were on his neck, sucking gently at the spot that drove Yosuke _insane_ , and the brunette gave a shuddering sigh in Souji’s ear.

“Oh my _god_ , Souji, I missed you _so much_. I swear I’m the luckiest guy ever.”

“No, because _I’m_ the luckiest guy ever.” Smiling, Souji wrapped his arms around Yosuke, moving his lips back to the brunette’s neck.

* * *

Later, Yosuke lay, half-curled around Souji’s side, with his head against his boyfriend’s chest; Souji was stroking his hair gently, and occasionally the brunette would lean over to place a soft kiss on the silver-haired boy’s collarbone. After a moment, Souji trailed his fingers down Yosuke’s neck. 

“I was really impressed with how well you managed the group while my memories were gone, Yosuke. I know you guys all call me leader, but you’re just as good as I am - or even better.” Souji’s voice was quiet, and when the brunette looked up, eyes wide, there was a soft smile on his boyfriend’s lips.

Yosuke, however, was having none of it. “ _Hell_ no, partner! You got us where we are today!”

“Whether that’s true or not, you’re here _now_.” Leaning over, Souji placed a gentle kiss on the bridge of his boyfriend’s nose. “I’m proud to have you supporting me and I want you to hold onto that leadership; taking charge _suits_ you, as long as you’re comfortable with it.”

There was a note of admiration in his voice as he said this, and Yosuke couldn’t help smirking. “Oh, does it, now?” Skimming his eyes over Souji’s body, he let a predatory smile cross his lips as he climbed on top of his boyfriend, reaching down to pin the silver-haired boy’s hands against the bed. 

Souji looked surprised for a moment, and a faint blush dusted his cheeks as he grinned up at his boyfriend before leaning up to meet the brunette’s lips. “Yes, yes it does.”

* * *

True to their word, they texted the others a brief version of the story - minus their reunion - before heading over to the Dojimas’. Opening the front door, Souji winked at Yosuke before calling out, “Nanako! I’m back!” 

“Yay, big bro!” The little girl came around the corner from the living room, and she was halfway down the hall to give Souji a hug when she stopped, her eyes widening. “Big… bro?”

“Yep.” Crouching down, Souji held open his arms. “I’m _back_.” 

“Big bro!” It was joyful exclamation as Nanako threw herself into his arms, wrapping them around his neck. “I missed you so much, big bro! You were so sad, and so was Yosuke-nii!”

Souji hugged her tightly, smiling up at Yosuke, who had tears in his eyes; after a moment, the brunette leaned down to hug them both, and they shared a happy embrace before Nanako tugged Souji into the kitchen, talking a thousand miles a minute. 

Yosuke and Souji prepared dinner that night. They were just setting the table when the door opened and Dojima gave his customary evening greeting; Souji smiled at Nanako, who waved him forward with shining eyes, and he wiped his hands on the apron he was wearing before walking into the hall. 

“Welcome home, uncle, I-”

He got no further before Dojima froze, eyes widening; putting his hands on Souji’s shoulders, he stared into his nephew’s face for a few moments before pulling him into a tight hug. “What happened? How did you manage it? Yosuke, what happened?” He looked at the brunette, who had walked over to join them.

They’d already decided to go with a half-truth. “Souji came over this morning to pick up his school bag that he’d left at Junes yesterday, and he found the box of stuff I carried out of his room back at the beginning.”

Souji nodded, pulling back. “Yeah, I guess seeing it was enough of a shock to bring everything back. Maybe it was just... _time_.”

The detective didn’t look _convinced_ by this, but he also didn’t seem inclined to look a gift horse in the mouth. Slapping Souji on the back, he reached out to put his hand on Yosuke’s shoulder, too.

“Well, whatever the case, I’m happy for you boys. I know you’ve been through a helluva time - and if he hasn’t already, Souji’s going to need to go by the hospital tomorrow so they can give him a checkup - but as long as it’s fine now, I’m happy.”

As they sat around the kotatsu that evening, Souji watched Yosuke helping Nanako with her homework. Wrapping his hands around his mug of tea, he sighed contentedly. 

_It’s so hard not to take things for granted, but right now… right now I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy. I love them both so much… god, I don’t know what I_ did _to deserve a guy as amazing as Yosuke. Whatever it was, I have to make sure I do everything that I can to keep him happy, to keep him by my side for the rest of my life._

* * *

Although Dojima gave them grief, it wasn’t hard to convince him to let Yosuke stay over that night, nor was it difficult to convince the brunette’s parents. They went to bed relatively early, after taking separate showers - it had been a _long_ day for both of them, after all - but once they were curled up in Souji’s futon, Yosuke found himself lying awake after his boyfriend had already fallen asleep. Snuggling close, he rested his head against Souji’s chest, listening to the silver-haired boy’s steady heartbeat. 

_I wouldn’t give this up for anything, and I’ll do everything I can not to take advantage of this again._

Feeling sentimental, he wrapped his arms around Souji’s waist, hugging his boyfriend; when he did, Souji woke up, giving him a sleepy smile. Pulling the brunette close, they shared a slow kiss before Souji nuzzled Yosuke’s forehead and leaned in, his voice a whisper against the brunette’s ear.

“Don’t ever leave me, Yosuke. No matter what.”

Raising an eyebrow, Yosuke put his hand on Souji’s chest. “Dude, that sounds like a freaking proposal.”

“Mmmm.” Souji moved his head so that he could nuzzle his boyfriend’s neck. “Maybe it was.”

He was asleep again almost as soon as he’d said this, but Yosuke found himself lying awake for at least another half hour, his heart racing as he tried to wipe the goofy grin off his face.

* * *

The next day, after breakfast, they got ready to go to school; Yosuke came downstairs, wearing Souji’s spare uniform, to find his boyfriend waiting for him at the front door with his old, confident attitude. Just the sight made the brunette’s heart swell - but he also found himself harbouring the tiniest hint of regret that he would no longer see the eager look on Souji’s face that had greeted him, for a time, as they met in the mornings to go to school together. _I have to admit that it was nice to see Souji looking up to me, just a little._

As he thought this, Souji suddenly reached out to grab his hand; the brunette found himself tugged close as his boyfriend put his lips to the brunette’s ear. 

“So, what are our plans for the afternoon, leader?”

Just this small gesture was enough to make Yosuke’s heart flip, but he managed to hide it with a grin. 

“First, we’re going to meet up with the group, and then we’ll all go get dinner or karaoke, whichever everybody would rather do. And then you and I are going to come home and snuggle because dammit, partner, I missed you _so_ much.”

Smiling, Souji wrapped an arm around Yosuke’s shoulder. “Sounds good, partner. I missed you, too.” 

His face, when he said this, looked so _happy_ that Yosuke couldn’t stop grinning; leaning in, he kissed Souji, and although the action surprised the silver-haired boy for a moment - Souji was usually the one to initiate such things - he just smiled, pulling his boyfriend close. 

* * *

As things settled back to normal, Yosuke found himself stepping up more when it came to leading the group and supporting Souji. For the most part, Souji still made the group decisions, or was the deciding voice in arguments - especially considering the fact that Yosuke and Chie argued _just_ as much as they ever did - but the brunette never fully let go of the command he’d taken while Souji was dealing with his amnesia. He took a more vocal role in helping make group plans, and sometimes he’d take charge completely, especially when he could tell that his boyfriend was tired, or getting annoyed.

Occasionally, moments from that eight months would come up in casual conversation between the two. One night, a few weeks before Christmas, they were curled up under the kotatsu together, watching a movie - Souji’s arm was around Yosuke’s shoulders, and the brunette’s head was against his boyfriend’s chest - when Souji straightened up a little.

“Kittens.”

Not that the word was entirely unexpected from the silver-haired boy, but Yosuke found himself confused by the context. He looked up at his boyfriend. “Er… kittens?”

Souji nodded. “I want to see you playing with kittens again. It was so cute, it almost killed me.”

Suddenly, Yosuke remembered their picnic by the river that summer, when Mikan had brought her two babies over; blushing, he shoved Souji’s shoulder. 

“Oh my god, you fucking dork.” Still, there was a smile on Souji’s face as he remembered it - and Yosuke couldn’t help thinking about Souji with his face buried in the kitten’s fur - so the brunette buried his face against Souji’s shoulder. “Fine, okay. We’ll find kittens next spring.”

Above him, Souji made a pleased sound that Yosuke would have _sworn_ was half purr, and then kissed the top of the brunette’s head.

* * *

They didn’t have Christmas Eve to themselves this year, but Dojima was a good enough sport to turn a blind eye to the fact that Yosuke was spending the night; he took Nanako out for dinner to give the boys space, and by the time the Dojimas were back, the two were already up in Souji’s room. Souji didn’t have a kotatsu - the room was small enough that there was a legitimate worry that it might overheat - but they were snuggled together under a thick blanket as they shared the last of the cake Yosuke had brought over. 

Stretching, the brunette leaned back against the couch. “I gotta say, Nanako’s onto something with how much she loves strawberries.”

“Mmm.” Souji tugged the blanket up as he leaned in to kiss a smudge of cream off the corner of his boyfriend’s mouth. “It tastes better when you feed it to me, though.”

“Dork.” Yosuke blushed a little before leaning in; he merely kissed Souji’s nose, however, before reaching for his jacket, which he’d insisted on bringing upstairs and laying over the arm of the couch. Digging in the pocket for a moment, he paused - it looked as if he was taking a deep breath - and then turned back to Souji. “Merry Christmas, partner.”

There was a _box_ in his hand, and he was holding it out to Souji, and Souji couldn’t stop his heart from leaping into his throat. He looked at Yosuke, who had a hopeful, nervous expression on his face; opening the box, the silver-haired boy was stunned to find a thin, plain gold band. “Yosuke, what-?”

There were the faintest hints of tears in the brunette’s eyes as he reached out to put his palm against his boyfriend’s cheek. “I figured I’d make good on that proposal talk we started when you got your memories back.” He swallowed. “I know this is early. We don’t have to make plans for a long time, I know we’ve got to get through uni and everything else, but I- Souji, I want to be with you _forever_. Even if something like this happens again, if I were to lose _my_ memories, I’d rather find them again with you at my side.” As he spoke, Souji felt his own eyes fill with tears; one spilled down his cheek, and the brunette smiled, wiping it away with his thumb. “I will fall in love with you a thousand times, if that’s what it takes, but I will _never_ leave you.”

“Oh, Yosuke.” Souji’s voice was hoarse as he reached out, pulling the brunette into his arms; he kissed his boyfriend’s cheek, his ear, his jaw, and as he did, Yosuke reached for the box before pulling back to take Souji’s left hand as he searched Souji’s face. “Can I?”

With a shuddering sigh, Souji nodded; when Yosuke slid the thin band onto his ring finger, he put a hand behind the brunette’s neck, pulling him in to kiss his forehead before kissing him on the lips. Before too long, however, he pulled away; Yosuke - eyes closed - leaned forward to follow him, and Souji had to chuckle quietly, putting a hand on his boyfriend’s - _fiancé’s_ \- shoulder. 

“One moment, Yosuke.”

The brunette watched with a curious expression as Souji climbed out of the comforter, padding over to his dresser; he took the envelope he’d prepared for Christmas from where it was laying on the top, but then reached into his sock drawer, bringing out a small velvet bag. Returning to the brunette’s side, he slipped back into the blanket, curling up against Yosuke for a few moments to regain some body heat - it was _cold_ in his room. 

Although Yosuke was clearly curious, he just wrapped his arms around Souji and held him close; once the silver-haired boy stopped shivering, he smiled at the brunette. “Well… I’d planned to give you this at graduation, but I’m certainly ready to do it now.” Taking Yosuke’s hand, he pushed the velvet bag into it.

Chewing his lip, the brunette untied the drawstrings and upended it over his palm; inside the bag was a ring - as plain as Souji’s, and only a little wider - that _looked_ silver, but the brunette’s eyes widened when he saw the PLAT999 stamp on the inside. Taking the hand that held the ring, Souji kissed it, just above the wrist. “I've been thinking about the proposal talk, too. I’ll never, ever love anyone other than you, Yosuke.”

The tears were falling down the brunette’s cheeks by now as he gave Souji a shy, happy smile, watching the silver-haired boy slide the ring onto _his_ finger. When it was in place, they both leaned in for a warm, hungry kiss that made Souji’s lose his train of thought. 

Finally pulling back to catch his breath, Souji smiled, sliding the envelope across the table. “This is what I’d _planned_ to give you for Christmas.”

Inside was a card; the sentiment on the cover was something short and sweet about the season, but inside were several paragraphs in Souji’s tidy handwriting.

> Dear Yosuke,
> 
> Merry Christmas. I won't say that I enjoyed the middle part of this year, but I did get to experience some amazing things because of it. I got to see you being strong and confident - an amazing leader - and I got to fall in love with you again. I got to face my shadow and _really_ gain my persona, like the rest of you; I don't know if I would have had _any_ kind of shadow to face when I first came to Inaba, and it's all because of you - and the group - that I grew into the kind of person who would.
> 
> That being said, this year has taught me one thing - I love you, and I will _always_ love you, no matter what happens, or tries to come between us. If the worst should happen and I ever lose my memory again, _stay_ with me as yourself, as my beloved, as my partner. I was born to be with you and there's no room in my heart for anyone else.
> 
> I love you, and I will love you forever.
> 
> Yours, 
> 
> Souji

The brunette’s tears fell harder as he read it; once it was clear that he’d gotten to the end, he looked back to the beginning and read it again before throwing his arms around Souji’s neck, burying his face against the silver-haired boy’s shoulder.

“Oh _Souji_.” Yosuke’s voice was choked. “I love you so much, I’ll always love you.”

“I’ll always love you, too, Yosuke.” Souji’s voice was just as thick, and he wrapped his arms tightly around the brunette, closing his eyes. 


End file.
